Breaking The Rules & Hearts

Life just doesn’t seem fair sometimes. Not that this reflects anything to do with His Hill, since most things here are pretty fair or at least fair enough for me not to care. Anyways, we are brought up by our parents being told that everything needs to be fair and that we all need to share everything that we have. That’s what I think is dumb. Teaching kids to play fair when in reality things aren’t fair and they just keep getting less fair as time goes on, the older we get the less fair things are. But what can we do about that, scream and yell at each other. I don’t think so, that has never worked for anything before. We do learn that lesson as a child.

 

There aren’t as many lessons as a child that can be brought up with you into adulthood. Things just don’t work like that anymore. Times have changed and people aren’t playing nice anymore, if they even did in the beginning. The people – our parents that control us as children no longer have control on us. They are just people now, yet we still go to them for help because they are older and meant to be wiser than us. In most cases they are but then there are those few who are just not. What lessons did their children learn from them? How could anyone learn anything of value from them? And who do those grown up children go to now for help and guidance?

I sometimes feel like I am breaking the rules even though there aren’t really any rules anymore. I am an adult; I am on my own - in a way. My parents will always be my parents and I am beyond thankful for them don’t get me wrong or anything. I love my parents and all the other people that have helped raise me because I know it was a tough job. But I don’t have them now, I am in Texas, much too far away to go running to them every time something happens or when I just don’t know what to think about something. I have to come up with the answers on my own and figure out how to live life as best as I can.

Being an adult is a much harder job than I would have ever thought. Things just always seemed so simple for them, they went to work and then came home and if you are my mum there was some shopping over lunch or for my dad a nap. I know though that there are harder jobs than others, like my dad’s job being an electrician – climbing into people’s roofs and wiring things and what not. But it still all seemed so simply to me as a child. However, I have now learned my lesson. Being an adult is much harder than it looks like. Things aren’t all laid out for you, you have to make the decision and then live with it afterward.

I am pretty good at making decisions but not living with it afterward. I know what I want but I don’t always know the best way of getting it and most of the time I go the wrong way to get it. I am not as smart as my parents are, at least not yet. They’ve got many years on me for learning things about life and how to live it. All I am doing now is breaking the rules and hearts trying to learn how adults make it all look so simple.

love,
a.m