Thoughts

I’ve been at a loss for words for about two weeks now. There was so much going on here that I couldn’t figure out what to say and what was better off left unsaid. And now I have come to the result that saying nothing is almost as bad as saying too much but hitting that line of saying just enough is pretty hard sometimes. There are few times in my life when I have been left with nothing to be said however, that is happening more and more to me as I get older. I am left surprised by what people say, how people act and what is happening in their lives. My last two weeks in a nut shell would be middle school drama – girls getting mad over dumb little things and boys just being dumb and not knowing how to treat a girl with respect. I thought I was in college or at least out of middle but looking back it surely doesn’t look like it with the things that I have been dealing with.

‘What you do is what you think and what you think is what you believe. What do you believe? What do people see you believing?’

Last Monday a teacher said that to our class and since then I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I am thinking about that a lot and trying to figure out if what I do is what I am thinking and if my thinking is what I actually believe. If I go by what the saying says then yes what I do is what I think and then what I believe as well. But then looking back at these two weeks the things that have been happening aren’t what I believe – I don’t like yelling and screaming and do not think that is ever the answer. I don’t like having one of my friends mad at me for whatever reason and I can’t stand fighting of any kind. However, that’s what my weeks have been kind of filled with - I have stood by and been yelled at and been their when someone else is being yelled at and I have yelled. But that’s not what I believe. Anyways, that’s just some of my thoughts that I am working through.

Love,

a.m