TCK

Not as many people know what TCK stands for as I think do. Third Culture Kid. That’s what I am, even though we only lived overseas for three years. For those three years that where I called home – I had good times, bad times, crazy times, extremely hot times followed by a tons of rain and times filled with the joy of knowing that we lived in a safe community with many other believers. To some Malaysia wouldn’t be a safe place or they could never imagine calling it home. But to me, that was where I wanted to be and that was where I was along with my family so that was home.

Which bring up the question of what makes up a home? I know some people would go straight to Pinterest and find their boards filled with things they have in their home or want for their home. While others pull out photos of their home throughout the ages or a picture of each house they lived in. For me home is really just memories. I don’t remember much of the stuff I learned in school, I remember the lunch hours and the times my friends and I cried together or laughed together. My whole memory is filled with times like those from all over the world. Memories from Lumsden which I would rather forget, memories from Malaysia that always make my heart feel warm and full, then there are memories from Regina but for living their three years my memories are from all over – the road trips with the fam, going on work trips with mum and going to youth treats at Colleges over the weekends.

All that brings us to now – Texas. My mind is full of cowboys and cowgirls, the dust clouds everywhere and times of laughing until my stomach is killing me with pain and then not being able to remember what started that laughter. All truly wonderful times. However, that doesn’t answer the question at hand – what makes up a home? Those are all memories from my home. My home is me, where I am is where my home is. Not meaning I am going to be bring everything I own to each place I go – that just wouldn’t work at this point. But it means I need to be happy where I am, of course there will be hard times, there are hard times everywhere, and we can’t run away from those. However, I can find the positive in bad times – gotta start seeing the cup half full not empty.

I have a great life and a great family that have like always supported me in whatever I was jumping into. That’s simply amazing and not everyone’s got that. I have two parents who are still together and don’t have plans of splitting up. I’ve got one older brother who has always been there for me through everything. Then I’ve got seven grandparents who have never disappointed me. Plus a whole bunch of cousins, aunts & uncles and tons of friends all over who care and love for me. How did I end up with all of this? I want to find a place that is my home, that I can go to and be like look this is mine. But imagining people who have lived in the same house their whole life is hard for me (after six years everyone should have to move by law).  So then why would I want to be able to go somewhere and say that this place is mine? That’s not what I want, I don’t want to live somewhere forever, and that just will not do at all. I like to travel and Asia has a very special place in my heart now.

I don’t have a home. That’s it. I don’t have an earthly home that I am longing for; my heart is yearning for my heavenly home. My heart is sad and having a rough week because I am longing for Jesus. I want to be able to physical reach out and know that He is there. This may be something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, wanting to be able to physical see and touch my heavenly creator. However, I know I cannot until I go to heaven and frankly I don’t feel like I am ready to go yet and as far as I know I am not being called home yet either.

2^nd Corinthians 5:1-10

‘For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having out in on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord--- for we walk by faith, not by sight--- we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether are home or absent, to be pleasing to him. For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.’

Love,

a.m

Being Content

Last summer I was not content at all. I didn’t stay with anything very long and was just unsure about everything. As my world fell in on its self after graduation, I realized that growing up was hard. But then I came to the Hill and everything was perfect and I couldn’t have been happier with my life. I was pretty sure that nothing could ever go wrong and that this place was absolutely perfect. However, nothing can stay perfect forever because that would just get boring. Right? Well, I wish it would have stayed that way.

Here I am in a place that I love with people that aren’t half bad and some of them I would even honor calling them best friends. However, real life compared to fairy tales - where everything ends the way the main character wants it to, has come back to me. My fairy tale has ended and I am being hit with the harsh reality that my life isn’t actually a fairy tale. So, if that wasn’t clear - I am not content. I am just plain old unhappy and beginning to have a harder time at hiding it.

I arrived on a Wednesday and was so excited to be back and seeing everyone. Things were great and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Things last semester weren't always easy but I always felt like this is where I should be. However, this feeling of not being content has taken over, I thought it would pass and that it was only because the first weekend had come and I missed home a bit. A whole week has gone by and nothing has changed. I still feel like this isn’t for me.

There have been some pretty good times in this past week and a half that we’ve all been here. But they don’t last, the happy go lucky feeling always leaves and I am left feeling out of place in a way or like I am just a visitor here. I have lots of friends, it’s not like I’m loner but even when I am with them and we are laughing and having a good time, my heart just isn’t there and isn’t into it.

So, now with all that said, all I am doing is praying most of the time. Trying to figure out what in the world is going on inside of me and why I can’t shake it off. I know I like to travel and moving isn’t a problem for me. However, I want to see this year through with these people, I can’t imagine leaving them part way and not finishing together because we started together. And I am not saying that I have already started packing because I haven’t. All I really know is that something is not right.

Please Pray.
a.m

Adventure Time

Wednesdays are normally filled with long classes and fun afternoons at outreach. Probably the best day of the week, however, this Wednesday was a little bit different than most. Jordyn and I were waiting to hear what time we’d be leaving for outreach when Levi said ours had been canceled for the week. Oh no! What were we going to do all afternoon while everyone else was gone? Hmmm…thinking…idea! Its adventure time!

One of the Canadian guys drove down to school in September and was more than willing to let us use his car as long as we didn’t get in any accidents and filled his tank. Easy enough! The one thing left now is to figure out what to do with all our free time. As we drove off of the Hill we figured the best thing to do would be go to Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree for some cheap snacks and goodies.

Life has been so busy since we got here finding time when no one else is around to talk isn’t the easiest. But when you are the only two people in the car and going to be together all afternoon it works out for talking quite well. It was an afternoon spent the best way – chilling with you bestie! We walked around Wal-Mart looking for the best deal and were amazed that everything in the Dollar Tree is actually a dollar.

Overall it was a very good afternoon spent! Probably one of the best days we’ve had here yet.
love,
a.m

Here we are again

The first half week is over. I didn’t think we would jump right into classes but we did. Thursday morning we started and got homework. So long for a chill first weekend back. For me things are mainly the same but they have changed a little. Like my room, I have two of the same room mates and then I have one of the new girls and then a girl from last semester was moved into my room. So it’s different but yet a lot the same. Noelle and I pulled out bunks apart so that neither of us would have a top bunk. Which is awesome and gives our room a whole new feeling; I enjoy being in my room so much more now because I can hang out on my bed without climbing up and down all the time.

One of my favorite guest speakers from last semester is coming this coming week and this time he is bring his wife and two daughters. Last time he talked about creation & evolution and this time he is going to talk about world views. I am so excited to hear him again. However, he is kind of hard to take notes on because he is all over the place but I am alright just listening and taking it in sometimes too.

Last night we had a game night and played a bunch of group games with who ever came to the Fish house. It was a lot of fun. We laughed until we were crying and holding out tummies. It was a good way to start the semester off, bonding with the four new students and being able to catch up with everyone else. We are trying to put together something awesome together for tonight as well. By the time supper rolls around everyone is going to be done with doing homework and ready to have some fun.

Love,

a.m

2012

12 Random Things I learned

1.       Going with the flow is sometimes better than planning everything in your head.

2.       Ketchup chips need to be taken worldwide.

3.       Hard work pays off.

4.       Every day is a new challenge.

5.       Every yoga pose can be modified.

6.       It’s easy to be a sore winner than loser.

7.        Grapes are delicious.

8.        Writing in cursive is slower than typing, faster than writing in print, and more liberating than both.

9.        It is good to talk.

10.    There is always someone to blame.

11.    We can get inspiration from unlikely sources.

12.    Mexican food isn’t my favorite.

12 Things kinda about God I learned

1.       God loves me unconditionally in spite of me. He LOVES me.

2.       Broken hearts heal. And if you let God be the healer and restorer, He’ll put you back together better than before.

3.       Pleasing God is more important that trying to please a person.

4.       I learned to remember what makes me happy: My family, my friends, my dreams, my talents, my gifts, & giving back.

5.       I learned to forgive and forget. Not for others, but for my freedom. Let go, let God and watch your life change.

6.       I realized my obsession with Derek Jeter may have gone too far.

7.       I learned eating Subway, Starbucks, & Tim Horton’s multiple times a week isn’t good for you.

8.       I learned time management.

9.       I learned God will take our mistakes, mess ups, and seemingly bad situations and bring a wonderful outcome that we couldn’t have expected or imagined!

10.   Sometimes when things don’t happen the way you’d hoped they would, they turn out better than you could have imagined.

11.   I learned who I am: A loved, forgiven, redeemed child of God, created for a purpose.  

12.   It’s important to surround yourself with people who are so proud of you they’re confident you’ll win a Nobel Prize one day.