Music

When I can’t sleep or in car or cleaning my room or walking somewhere or home alone or when I don’t want to talk to someone or when I am doing anything else in my day I always have music on. I can’t live without back ground noise, it kind of freaks me out when everything is quite and still. My iPod is always in my purse so that if it get quite I can just wipe it out and listen to something. Every day it is different, I could start out listening to country and then move to rap and finishing off with some old school rock. Or I could just listen to small unknown Canadian bands. Maybe I am in the mood for sound tracks like The Lorax, Chocolat or Step Up 1, 2 or 3. There is no saying what I’ll feel like listening to that day; there is way too much choice too.

Depending who I am with or what I am doing, normally helps me decide what I am going to listen too. For example, if I am with my brother I’ll probably be listening to Deadmau5, DWW or maybe The Asteroid Galaxy Tour. But if I am with my mum, I’d be listening to Michael Buble, anything country-ish or Francesca Battistelli. Then if I’m alone I’d be listening to Coldplay, Jack Johnson, a new band I just discovered or really anything I felt like. It is all good music and I like it all, but it’s all pretty different, the stuff I listen to with one person isn’t the same as I would listen to with someone else just because everyone has different tastes and thoughts on what makes good music.

I do think it is all good music but that’s just my opinion and in the long run of music my opinion doesn’t mean much. It might if I actually went out and brought a CD every once in a while however I don’t. There are much easier ways of getting and listening music now-a-days, plus the stuff I have been listening to a lot lately isn’t famous and they don’t have whole albums just a few songs so I wouldn’t be able to find a CD anyways. I guess I am just a head of the times, listening to the bands that producers don’t think are good enough yet to sign a deal with but I sure do think they are ready for the spot light.

love,

mae

Love, Live and Laugh

Not that I am counting but there are two weeks tomorrow until I get on a plane what too early in the morning and begin my journey to Comfort, Texas. I am trying not to think too much about how long I’ll be away from my family and friends or how I’m a college girl now. Its way too scary to think about, just yesterday I was walking into the grade one class room at Lumsden Elementary School and now look at me! I'm done school and on the road to my future, the future I’ll choose for myself - the life I’ve always dreamed of. I never want to blink again that way I don’t miss a minute of my life, I want to remember everything that happens from now on and live every day to the very fullest.

I want to be the girl who Loves, Lives and Laughs.

That’s my motto - Love, Live, Laugh. That’s what I want, to Love everyone and everything, to Live every minute of every day to the fullest, and to Laugh all the time. Love is one of my favorite words so it just makes sense that it would come first because I am always telling myself to Love. If we aren’t Living then we are dead, that is the sad reality and I am not ready to die. And finally, Laughter is the best medicine and I Laugh at everything whether or not something is funny.

Some people say YOLO - You Only Live Once. Which is pretty powerful too but I have seen that taken to two different extremes. One where they are happy and having fun in life and one where they are taking people down, being mean because they only live once so they make sure people hear them and know who they are for all the wrong reasons.

That’s not what I want, I want to remember to Love people, to Live my life - not the life someone else wants for me and of course to Laugh the whole way.

Lost & ...

Thursday's are Science Center days at VBS. I love the Science Center, one of my favorite places in all of Saskatchewan. If you have never been to the Science Center then your life is so not complete, honestly, if I could I would live inside the Science Center. I don’t know what it is about that place that makes it so amazing to me because I am really not into Science at all. But it’s a different kind of science, it’s actually fun and not in a class room.

That is also what Seth thought. Seth is one of the sweetest boys I have met, I only have two boys in my group this week and they are both angels. However, Noah has a bit of devilish side to him while Seth is just a cute kid all the time. He likes holding hands, standing in a straight line and not talking while someone else is. Almost what I would call a perfect kid, but today I found his not so awesome side. Easily distracted - which is how he got left inside the Science Center while the rest of the kids that were inside from the church came out. My kids came slowly with their leads, I started off with just three kids, then about three minutes later I had six and then five minutes after that the last leader with only two of my kids came out. That brings me to eight, I had sent in three groups of three kids – someone was missing. My whole group knew that Seth was missing, there was nothing by that point we could do to hide that fact. I haven’t ever lost a kid before mainly because I don’t have kids; but also because I don’t tend to do things with kids where I am in charge. And now I am in charge and I lost a kid, well I didn’t actually but he is part of my big group so I kind of did in a way.

Note to self – Don’t get the front desk to call a lost kid to the front doors. It tends to freak them out even more and well it kind of freaked me out too. It made the whole deal more real than before.

After the second time his name was called out, everybody saw him running through the building to get to the front doors, taking a wrong turn here and bumping into everything in his way. But he made it to the front doors just before a bunch of us leaders went into find him. The poor guy, he was fine until he realized that he was alone. Once that shock hit him, he was a mess and frankly, who wouldn’t be. The bus ride back to the church was long and hot. Seth sat with me and cried the whole way, there was nothing I could say to get him to stop crying and just breathe. Thankfully, once we got to the church he began to realize everything was okay, he was found and no one was mad. We were all so happy that we found him and that nothing had happened.
love,
mae

Car Tan

Since I was working at a VBS last week and again this week, I have been driving to the north end of the city at 7:30am and then spending part of the day outside playing games to then drive home (to the south end) around 5pm. Because of this schedule I have begun to get a car tan.

Now for people who might not know what a car tan is, I shall inform you! It’s when one side of your body gets tanned because it is closer to the window than the other side. So, my left arm is tanner than my right arm. Which wasn’t a big issue until yesterday, when I was on the beach and my left arm again was in the sun more than my right was. It is quite noticeable now that I have gotten a car tan.

However, I am not too worried about my car tan sticking around after summer is over since it’s always HOT in Texas. My car tan will be gone in no time at all. At least that’s what I am hoping but I’ll have to wait and see how tanned my left arm really is after this week of VBS.

love,

mae

What The World Is Made For

I wrote this on February 1st, 2004 and just stumbled upon it again.

Everyone should be friends

Because that’s what the world is made for

It does not matter if you are different

Because that’s what the world is made for

You might look different from someone else

But that does not matter

Because we are all the same in ways

So everyone should be friends forever

You might be different on the outside

But we are all the same on the inside

So everyone should be friends

Because that is what the world is made for.

love,

a.m

A Plastic Knife

Starting yesterday through to Friday this week and then again next week I am working at a VBS (Vacation Bible School) at my parent’s church. This week I am a crew leader for crew number 5 – I’ve got school aged kids between third grade and fifth grade. There are ten kids in my crew and three of them happen to be named Aden (but one spells it - Adan). Today was day two, so I figured things would go smoother than they did on Monday - which was a pretty good day for my crew other than just not listening well and having a lot of energy at all the wrong times. However, today wasn’t really a great day for some of my kids.

Here's what happened --

Two of my kids, Cole and Faith, showed up about five minutes late, which isn’t a big deal. We sing songs first thing in the morning so they came during that - really didn’t miss much. Cole has to take a pill after he is finished eating lunch, I asked him when he came in if he had his pill with him - I hold on to it during the morning and then give it to him when he needs to take it so that he doesn’t forget. But today he said that he didn’t have one, which was strange since Monday he was telling me all about why he has to take a pill everyday (key word there was 'everyday'). I let it go for the moment since there were 100 kids singing while I was trying to talk to him so I was having a hard time hearing what he was saying.

Our first activity is snack, everything was just peachy then. Nobody was having problems with each other or anything - overall I’d say they were being perfect angels. Imagination Station is next where we do experiments - todays was alka seltzer and water in a film tube. The kids loved it and watching the caps blow off because of the pressure. The real trouble didn’t start until we went to outdoor games. Aden(#1) got hit on the right side of his face with a ball during Bump, Set, and Spike (a volley ball-ish game). He was down for the count, I took him off to the side so that the game could continue with the other kids. Once he was feeling better and got laughing again, he joined back in for the last few minutes. From games we go to bible story, which I would have figured would be the last place a kid would get hurt because they are only sitting and listening to a bible story but somehow we ended up with Aden(#1) hurt again. But this time it was only a slight tap of a foot to his side so it didn’t take him as long to bounce back.

This is where things go from 'okay' to 'bad news bears'.

After bible story we go to the movie room and watch a short film about how 'Everything is possible with God'. The kids enjoy watching it because well it’s a video and who doesn’t like a video. Once the video is over, the kids are each given a star to write something that they are thankful for or a God moment on them. My boy, Cole, wasn’t overly interested in doing that so he just wrote his name in  big letters on his star. I was fine with that since I wasn’t going to force him to write something - not all the kids in my crew believe in God so it is sometimes hard for them to understand what a God moment is. When I asked Cole if there was something he was thankful for he said 'no, I just feel like stabbing someone with a knife'. Not the kind of answer I thought he would come up with. The lady in charge of that room saw a marker go flying through the air, she asked for the person who throw it to come and pick it up. All the kids looked at it and said that I wasn’t there’s.  I looked over to see what color it was - to find out it was black and the only person who had been using black was Cole. I asked him what happened to his marker and he just looked at me and said it’s over there and pointed to the black marker on the ground. He didn’t say that he didn't throw it over there but I wasn’t too sure how else it could have gotten there. So, proceed by asking him if he throw the marker over there when he was done writing on it. Nope of course he didn’t, why would he do something like that. Cole hadn’t been a trouble maker, he was shy and tended to keep to himself unless called upon. He was a nice kid, from a hard background and sometimes those are the kids you need to watch out for the most. He at this point had stopped listening and was just walking out of the room while everyone else was working on their God moments.

There are a lot of things going on in the church and we need the kids to stay with their crews or have a crew leader with them all the time. The second time Cole left the movie room before we were done, the lady in charge of the room went after him, when they didn’t come back right away, I went to see what was happening and if I could do anything. I left the room to find Cole sitting under our crews table, saying he didn’t want to be here anymore. There wasn’t much we could do, his mind was made up and every time we tried to talk to him, he'd run away. So I ended up kind of corner him to sit by some chairs while the Head Lady, Jaci, she came. She sat with Cole for a few minutes, then he started to talk. We soon found out that he had had a knife in his pocket this whole time. However, it was plastic but the comment about wanting to stab someone became a tad be more real when I saw the plastic knife. But when asked to give the knife up, it only made matters worse. It was almost lunch time and all the kids were hungry - having Jaci talking to one of my boys meant everyone had to wait to sing two songs and then go for lunch. But what else was there to do but wait. Cole agreed that he wouldn’t bring the plastic knife out again, it would stay in his pocket until he was picked up to go home and that he was going to have a bit of a time out while we were singing - he'd sit by out crew table and wait until I picked him up to go to lunch. While we were singing I stood behind all the kids so that I could still see Cole off to the side and the rest of my crew. I didn’t know if he was going to just walk off again or not so I need to have him in eye sight all the time.

Aden(#1) has a bit of an issue keeping him name tag on, he likes to play with it and put it on his back. Everybody was singing and it sounded so nice until I could hear that same little scream I had heard twice that morning already. Between all the singing kids came Aden holding his finger. The back of the name tag had a safety pin on it so that it would stay attached to the kid’s shirts. He had poked his finger with it and started to bleed. Crew 6 leader, Steven took Aden to the bathroom to clean up his finger while I watched both of our crews. When he came back he just wanted to sit down - I was totally fine with that. So now I have two boys to watch and eight kids singing. Things started to get better in the afternoon until somehow and we still aren’t sure how this happened - Aden cut a different finger.

love,
A.M

Celebrating

Birthdays are normally days meant for celebrating the fact that you made it through another year. It’s the one day of the year that is completely dedicated about one person (or persons depending how many people you know with the same birthday) and making them feel special and loved. We give gifts so that they know how special they are and so that they never forget it. It’s the one day of the year that people look so forward too (or at least I know I love my birthday), some people even start the count down the day after their birthday for the next one.  

Today is a very special birthday – it’s my friend, Acacia's birthday. She would be all grown up now, an adult I guess. But sadly she didn't make it through the year. Acacia pasted away last September, barely a month after her birthday. I understand that she is in a much better place but there are so many people down here on earth that love her and miss her very much. That want to be with her to celebrate this milestone of becoming an adult but she’s not here to celebrate with them.

I am happy that she is in heaven with our heavenly father, but I am sad that she wasn’t able to finish high school with her class and she wasn’t able to go to Japan - her favorite place in the world. I’m confused because I don’t understand why she had to go so soon and I am mad that she left us without being able to go to Japan and teach English and be in her all-time favorite culture. I don’t know how I am meant to feel today - Birthdays are for celebrating and celebrating means being happy and joyful. However, I am just not in a celebrating mood at all. It’s the last thing I feel like doing today. I'd much rather just sit in the sun light and empty my busy brain from everything that is running through it.

love,
a.m.

The Question

Going into senior year of high school we prepare for ‘The Question’. It’s the one question that at the beginning of the year most students down know how to answer it because they aren’t sure where they are going to end up by the end of the year or even that coming fall. However, there are a few people who already knew and have a very easy time answering ‘The Question’.

What are your plans for the coming fall? - That is ‘The Question’.

I would like to say I was one of those people who had an easy time answering but sadly, not so much. I know one thing for sure though - I wasn’t going to stay home. I needed to travel and have my own adventure outside of the walls of my parents’ house, city, province and even their country. But where was I going to go? The world is big place and I was not about to just jump in alone. I needed a plan.
By the end of the year I had a plan and knew how to answer ‘The Question’.

Here’s my answer - I was going to YWAM York, England. I was going for a yearlong DTS in the city of York. I would be doing outreach in the city with all peoples willing. My team would do a small missions trip to somewhere else that we decided as a group.

Pretty good answer eh?! Everybody knew about my plan and was helping me count down the days until I left. Until I got probably the worst phone call I have ever received. The program I was going to got shut down for at least a year. This meant I would not be going to York, England. My plan had been completely cancelled, in that moment I mainly felt like my life had been cancelled. What was I to do now? People were still asking me about my plan, how was I going to tell people without breaking down? I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to do, where to go or who to talk to. I was as lost as lost could be but completely surrounded by people.

Everyone I talked to had an idea of where I could or what I could be doing instead, it was so overwhelming. I tried my best to stay away from people that I knew would have something to say about my life and what I should be doing in the fall. I didn’t want to hear it, I wasn’t ready yet. But when you’re at your cabin and there are a few hundred people on the grounds that week it is very hard to stay away from people. So, I put a smile and sunglasses on and went out to face the world, doing my best to show an overly happy emotion to cover up my broken heart.

By the end of the week, I was exhausted. I just wanted my own bed, my house, my everything. A place I could actually hide from the world in. I learned quickly that hiding wasn’t very much fun, I was with my thoughts all the time and that was almost as overwhelming as being with people. So I needed a plan. I am a plan person; I plan everything out, my outfits for the next day or sometimes week (if I am really organized). I needed something to work towards, something to be excited about again. That became my mission - to find a plan, to have a new answer to ‘The Question’. It actually came much easier than I thought it would, I looked up a few things, then I just knew.

And now, this is my new answer, my new plan - I am going to His Hill Bible School in Comfort, Texas. It is a Torchbearers School or also known as a Capernwray. I’m going for two semester - fall and spring and I get to come home for Christmas. My childhood friend, Courtney is also going and is kind of the reason I even thought about going. It’ll be a full year of studying the bible and looking at Gods word.

Love,
A.M.