Christmas

It has come and gone now. The advent calendars and count downs can be put away for 11 months and thus beginning a new year with new challenges, new people and new situations. So my Christmas, well it was surely different than years past, never before have I attending five family gatherings, four present opening or had that much turkey in one week. However, with all of that, it was wonderful, so many people to celebrate with and also reconnect with after being away since September. If I could I would go back and start the whole week over again, I wouldn’t add anything to the week and surprisingly I wouldn’t take anything away, not even one of the turkey dinners or when I got sat on. I could go on and list all the foods I ate, all the gifts I got and all the times I laughed until I cried. But that wouldn’t do anybody any good because those are my memories from my holiday and not yours. Everybody has their memories from their Christmas and has their own traditions (something I thought we, Archers, lacked in until they started). So, that is all I will say about my Christmas, just that is was one of the best yet.

I was asked if this was the best Christmas yet and I couldn’t say yes as in yes it was by far much better than all the rest but I could say yes because it was different than all the rest. I have spent four Christmas’s outside of Canada in three different countries and those are the ones I remember, I am sure I spent at least one in the USA with my American side of the family (however it would have been when I was younger and I hardly remember anything from those days). For me, there are no two Christmas’s that are the same, the ones I remember are all so different from each other, I wouldn’t even know where to start comparing them to each other. So, yes this was the best Christmas but only because I haven’t had one quite like this before.

Love,

a.m

Saskatchewan

So, I am home. This is so weird to say, three months felt like one day with a few naps.  That was really what it was like, and since most nights I was going to bed late and waking up semi-early it really was just like having a nap in the night time. But oh my, how nice it is to be home. To actually be allowed to make my own food, not have to climb into my bunk and here’s the big one, being able to watch TV (which I have now realized after watching TV, that there really isn’t anything on to watch). So many freedoms were taken away and that just became how life was down there, that I began to forget how many freedoms I have at home. That was until I went into the kitchen Saturday night to get something to eat, I felt a little overwhelmed by how much choice I had, it wasn’t all laid out for me but I actually had to do everything myself. Well I would have had to do everything for myself if my dad didn’t come in after I opened and closed the fridge for maybe the fourth time while my eyes popped out of my head. Now that day two of being home is done, I can say I did get myself food and figured out where everything in the house is since the house doesn’t look the way I left it on September 12.

Home Sweet Home!

a.m

Work Day

I can now count down using my fingers until the day I come home. HOORAY! As exciting that is, there is also another side of this coming home thing that isn’t so much fun – cleaning. We have to clean everything. I am not joking here when I say everything, there are lists everywhere and we have to go around finding our names to find out which things we have to do. Here is some of what we have to do:

In our rooms – the walls, the tall closets, the ceiling, the windows, the desks, the cupboards, the carpet, the beds, the mattress, the garbage bins, the walls, the fan, the door and the drawers. There can be no trace of sticky tack being on the walls, none of our stuff can be left in the room and the beds have to be put back the way we found them.

In the dorm – each tile on the floor, the glass sliding doors, all the windows, the walls, the staircases, the sofas/chairs, the tables, the lamps, the doors and the curtains.

In the bathroom – the drawers, the shower curtains, the walls above the showers, the toilets, the door, the tiled flooring, the light bulbs, the ceiling, the cupboards and the towel racks.

If it is not done and looking the way the staff want it they will take away our down payment or something like that. So we are all freaking out since that is a heck of a lot of work to do while we are still living here, going to classes and then they, as in the staff, have some end of the term ‘fun stuff’ planned for us. So when are we meant to clean? Yeah that is a question nobody has a really great answer too. It will probably end up being done Wednesday night since dorm check is Thursday at 1:30 but we are out until 1pm that day. Anyways, that’s what is going on at the Hill these days.

8 days and counting,

a.m

Count Down

Well, here we are counting down the days until I get to go home. Last time I was counting down it was until I was leaving for the Hill. Amazing how fast time goes by! I can honestly say this has been the best and worst three months I could have asked for and there isn’t a thing I would want to change about it. Everything was perfect just the way it was. It’s true sometimes I hated the position I was in – being away from my family and friends, saying something dumb & having to pay the consequences and then having to come to the realization that this is not my life but Jesus life. Those parts weren’t so fun but looking back I can say now that without those moments and a few others it wouldn’t have been what I needed or what I came here looking for. I would list the good moments but they are way too many and most of them are only funny if you know the people and the place and well everything. However, there are many memories I will hold close to my heart – the many McDonalds runs, chats with my roommates at night and of course my birthday (that was for sure one of the top five days this semester).  

So, what have I learned this semester? I know you all want the answer to that question. And well honestly it is hard to answer. I have learned so much and well where do I begin! Have you all studied from Genesis through to II Chronicles? Or how about Romans, I & II Thessalonians, Galatians, Daniel, Revelation, Malachi, the Ten Commandments or Creation VS Evolution? It doesn’t totally matter if you haven’t but the things I have learned come from those books so everything I think I can relate back to the class I was in. But I will try to compact what I have learned from those books and my amazing teachers into something that makes sense beyond my brain –

It is always about letting God live through me not the other way around. It’s not my way, my will, my timing but God’s way, God’s will and God’s timing. I can’t live through God – He has to be living through me. When we are living out the image of God then He is truly living through us. Once you are in relationship with God there is nothing that can take you away from that. God wants us, He does not need us. He is more powerful than anybody could ever imagine, He created the earth is 6 freaking days. That’s like maybe 144 hours. He said it and it came to be. Never think God needs us; people in the Bible have told Him no so He found someone else to do His will. Even then He doesn’t need us; He can do whatever He pleases. But what pleases Him is to have us. It takes God in the man for man to be the man God wants him to be. We are made complete in Christ.

So really everything I have learned was one main thought that was just repeated a hundred different ways. WWJD? Die. What would Jesus do? He died. We need to wake up every morning and die to ourselves so that God can do his work through us. That is what I have learned. That thought has been brought up a few times a week, it is something I will never forget and never want to forget. It’s a very simple truth.

Love,

a.m

Thanksgiving

I thought I was tried before this but no no no. I am exhausted from this past week, it was totally different week from our normal life. There were about 25 tables set up in the dining hall and they were filled at meals so that’s a lot of people. Things always had to be clean and we couldn’t hang out in the normal places and we had to look nice all the time. Don’t get me wrong though, it was a fun week, we had two guest speakers but we didn’t get any homework from them because they were here for the conference not for us students. The only week all year I won’t have homework! They taught a bit on judges, which we just finished about two weeks ago. The chapel was also packed with people and most of us students, unless it was your turn for doing child care, were sitting in the last few rows on the ground so other people could have chairs. Some students ended up having a lot of extra duties to do, I was one of those people but once the week actually got started it wasn’t that bad because their wasn’t that much for us today, things like the horse and climbing wall were open for guest but not students really. That was the week, it was a blast and thanksgiving meal was so tasty. Overall one of the best weeks this year.

Yesterday was my day, that’s right, I’m 19! It was crazy day because the conference ended after lunch so at breakfast the tradition here at the Hill is that the birthday person has to stand on their chair while everyone sings. Luckily I didn’t have to stand by myself because there was a little boy here and it just so happened to be his birthday too. When I got up on my chair I looked at him and was like come on bud! And then the rest of the day random people here were wishing me a happy birthday, my face hurts so bad from smiling and says thanks! I hadn’t planned on doing anything to celebrate but while I was eating my cake which my D-Group leader, Chris, made one of the guys was like lets go in for dinner and I was like well I don’t know and then all of a sudden I had a van and 6 seats to fill. So we went into San Antano for supper at BJ’s. So so so amazing!! I got the BJ’s Bacon Cheeseburger medium well done with crispy thin fries. Since it was my birthday I got a free dessert that we passed around the table and all got one bit out of. Over all one of the best days this year!

Love,

a.m

Names

So, what have I been learning – well that’s probably one of the hardest questions to answer ever. I don’t know what would be a better question to ask, there isn’t one really because I have learned so much and have been enlightened about so much of the Bible and its characters. I wouldn’t say I am a different person though, some people go off to Bible school and come back saying they are a totally new person. I’m still the same little girl I was before I left; I just now have more knowledge about the Bible than I did before.
For example, I don’t think I had ever read the book of 1^st and 2^nd Thessalonians and now I have. I have done an in-depth 12 hour study on it and learned about how Paul starts his letters and how that is almost just as important as the rest of the letter. Then there is all of those crazy names in the Bible and honestly who names their child Ephraim. The answer to that would be Joseph, he would but that’s because names meant one heck of a lot more back then than they do now. Ephraim means God has made me fruitful and that was true for Joseph. We see this throughout the Bible that people would name their child something because of what God had done for them, not because it was a pretty name. However, I don’t think that has changed my list of favorite names in any way.

My favorite names are and now with their meanings  ::

Mercedes – mercy

Liam - determined protector

Bridget - exalted one

Hunter - hunter

Bentley - bent grass clearing

Sebastian - from Sebaste

Priscilla - ancient

Sanderson - son of Alexander

Love,

a.m

Two Weeks

For the past two weeks we have had the same guest teacher. Out of all of the guest teachers, he was the last one I would want more than one week. His teaching style just wasn’t working for me and he was teaching on Daniel and Revelation (not Revelations as he would say at the beginning of every class). There was lots to learn from each book but it was so hard to stay focused on him. He never changed his voice it was always the same, even when he was excited, yet somehow we all knew when he was excited about a point. Another interesting fact about him is this is all he does; it is his job to go around to different places teaching these two books. So he has all of his notes memorized, every class and mainly every word on his note pages. There were some classes when he had a lot to get through and he would talk so fast. Overall it was kind of a long two weeks and it’s not even over yet since he is preaching at church tomorrow as well. Last week his sermon was pretty close to being the same as our first class with him.

Last weekend on Friday night, I went to a real football game. As in a High School football game with cheerleaders, marching bands and girls that did a dance with flags. I am not sure if the last one is normal for a foot game but it was still fun to see. There weren’t a lot of us who went from the school but those of who did go were beyond pumped to see the half time show – the marching bands. We were the boy team, Comfort something. I don’t remember which animal we were now but that does not matter because we lost by 54. The finally score was 0 – 54. Yeah pretty sad but I guess there always has to be a loser. It was the last game of the season so both teams went out with a bang for completely different reasons.

This weekend I don’t really have anything planned. There is now a paper for Revelations since we’re don’t the class and also a paper for Ruth due the beginning of this coming week. So at some point I’ll get those done and there is an open house tonight that I’ll be going to. I’ve also got a lot of reading to do, by the end of the semester, Bob, who is teaching 1^st & 2^nd Samuel wants us to have read it three times and write a one sentence summary on each chapter so I should get working harder on that now while I don’t have any other reading from different teachers. On Monday we will be having Bob for the whole day, all five hours because our guest speaker won’t be here yet and our other teachers are way at a conference. He is my favorite teacher but he is insane so it shall be a crazy Monday by far.

Last night we played a campus wide again of Strategy (it’s a board game that some of the guys worked out to be a ‘real person game’ as was said).  It was actually a lot of fun, the first round nobody really knew what they were doing but after that round the next two were pretty intense. And my team of course won! For two of the rounds I was bomb so I couldn’t die and I could kill everyone, it is the most fun person to be by far. During the last around everyone thought I was a bomb again so they would stay away from me so I could get onto the other teams half to find their flag very easily. Overall a very fun night.

Love,

a.m

In Heaven

The other day I was asked who someone I want to see in Heaven is - that person cannot be a bible character and needed to be already dead as well. After a few moments of thinking about it I had come up with about a list of ten people. I needed one person and only on person. Why does there have to be so many rules about dead people? So then after another few moments of thinking I got it down to two people - Princess Diana and Great Grandpa Williamson.

The first one might seem kind of random and it kind of is since she pasted away the year after I was born (I think). So I don’t actually ever remember seeing her but in magazines. However, those magazines say a lot and from what they say I have taken a liking to her. I would like to actually talk to her and listen to her stories about being on the other side of the royal wall. I am sure they have funny moments over there just like I do in my own home. But we don’t hear about those times on this side of the wall. We don’t hear about much on this side and the things we do hear about have been blown up by the media. So it is all questionable.

I got my name from Great Grandpa – Annesley. He was a writer and I was a character, I am pretty sure I was a doctor. Which would be awesome cause then I can actually say ‘Don’t worry, I’m a doctor!’ because well I am in a book, at least my name was in a book. Almost like real life right? Well maybe not. I don’t have a lot of memories of my Great Grandpa only because the times when he was still alive I was so little that I don’t really remember anything from back then. It would be nice to see him again and talk to him about well mainly anything under the sun.

Love,

a.m

Exhausted

Well, here I am again completely worn down, as exhausted as can be. But the difference from the last time I felt exhausted is why I am. I’ve learned too much, I need a break and me plus mainly the whole student body is feeling it. We are all mentally and spiritual exhausted from learning so much about ourselves, about God and about everything in between and around that. The few moments I have to just sit and not have to be in class, I tend to be sleeping because at night just isn’t enough. In the dorms you’re lucky if you get into bed by 10:30 and then it’s a miracle if you’re actually sleeping at that point too. Most people settle down around 11 – 11:30. It’s kind of late but you just learn to schedule in a few naps. Most of my days are spent napping because I am so exhausted from learning, my brain can’t handle it. I long for weekends and Skype dates.

Most of the time there are only like well one person I want to Skype with. However, our schedules are so incredibly different it is hard to find the time and then my internet connection is just horrible that it hardly ever works. But those few moments when it actually does work, I feel so blessed from. Then on my weekends I tend to do nothing at all, just hang out and relax. If I do something it is sure not homework, my brain wouldn’t able to handle it. Which means the beginning of my week is extra busy catching up on the things I didn’t do over the weekend and then the end of my week is busy doing the things I should have been doing at the beginning but wasn’t because of what I was doing. It’s kind of mess but it’s the life I have chosen to live at this point.

I know what you’re thinking – if I did spent some time working on the weekend then my week might not be so busy and maybe I wouldn’t be so exhausted. However, there is a flaw in your thinking – Friday night is Friday night so no homework would get done because I just sat through five hours of intense learning and my brain has turned off by three o’clock. Saturday I take as my Sabbath because Sunday I have go to church and well what happens in church? You learn about God again so I spend my morning there and then the rest of the day is spent on things like lunch and the weekly Wal-Mart trip. By the time I get home I am just as exhausted from all of that as I am my weekly deal. See the way I am doing it is really the only option right now.

Anyways, that’s kind of how I am feeling right now with everything. I am sure as time goes on I’ll figure out a better way of living and dealing with my time. But it is hard to find a good balance of socializing and studying and being alone. Since for me I am in a room five people alone time isn’t normally alone alone time but on my bed alone time, if you know what I mean. I know I am here to learn about God and all that stuff but here is also a great place to make lifelong friends but how could I do that if I am always studying.

Love,

a.m

My Texas

Even though I might be a world traveler and had many different experiences in different cultures and understand the world a fair bit more than some people, there are still something I think or believe that make no sense at all. Like my love for Texas, before moving to Comfort, I had only ever been in the airport in Houston once before this in April of grade 11 when I was on my way to Guatemala. My love for Texas is so random and the things that I thought about Texans were way way off. So here are the random things I thought about Texas and the Texans that live here--

·         All barns (mainly everywhere in the world) are red – so not true. Sitting on the back deck of the dorm I can see a huge white barn. White. Of all colors to paint a barn, they wanted it white. Weird.

·         They all like country music – no way Jose! I was talking to one of the maintenance works, Levi and he hates country music and he has only ever lived in Texas other than that one year where he lived in B.C. going to Capernwray Harbour. I don’t understand why he doesn’t like country music.

·         All Texans drive trucks – there are a lot of nice cars down here. Everyone drives a nice car, there are few ugly, beat up cars here and most of them are black. That totally doesn’t make sense since it’s so hot here the sun would make the car super-hot inside. There are trucks here but not as much as I thought there would be.

·         They all ride horses into town – that always happens in the movies. But apparently not in real life.

·         They all wear cowboy hats – not so much. A lot of them actually wear ball caps, which is cool too but not really cowboy-ish.

·         The girls have long blonde hair – just jokes! But actually most of them have long hair but all different colors.  

·         They all must be tan – no no. Some of these people are not tan at all, I am pretty white and wow they are super super white.  

·         The guys all drink black coffee – not true! I drink black coffee and there coffee is not the same color as mine. But there coffee down here is not overly tasty at all.

·         All Texans have a thick Texan accent – not everyone. Some people down here don’t sound Texan at all, they don’t really have an accent just a voice.

I don’t know how I come up with these things sometimes.

Love,

a.m

Hot & Cold

I never knew that it actually gets cold here, like honestly, I know that I have been talking about the weather a lot but it’s a daily thing I have to deal with. I didn’t think I’d need more than one pair of wool socks or that I would need an actually fall jacket. Like honestly this is Texas not Alaska, why is it getting cold? I should have been checking the weather for the fall instead of checking what the weather was like each day before I felt. But it’s too late now for that, I’ve just got to make do with what I brought which is much harder than I would have once thought.

 

It starts off chilly in the morning but by the time we get out of class at 12:30 it has sure warmed and then the afternoon is just hot. However, come after supper things cool off and it gets so cold out. I bundle up with my wool socks, slippers, sweat pants and about four layers of shirts/sweaters. I didn’t bring mittens or a toque but I probably would wear it if I had. Next semester is going to be even colder since January and February are the coldest months here so I will come back from winter break prepared for the coldness that waits me.

I feel like the worst Canadian ever. This isn’t like a Saskatchewan winter at all but even those winters I have a hard time handling. I just wasn’t meant to live anywhere like here or there. I need a place where it’s like fall a lot, I love fall. It is for sure my favorite time of year, the changing of the colors and the cute clothing. Having warm days and chilly days but not bitterly cold to the bone days and not having boiling hot days either and not having them right after one another. It is for sure the prefect time of year, I just need to learn how to prepare for things better.

Love,

a.m

A Year Ago

It still amazes me that ago this month I was an insane person doing an insane thing for a grade in my senior bible class. It is possible I have graduated from high school and passed that bible class with my insane project – it is possible and it did happen just like that. I couldn’t tell you what I was thinking when I decided to start that project and push myself to a new kind of limit for me. I probably wasn’t thinking since I tend to not do that at some pretty important times in my life. You’d think I would have learned by now that thinking is a 24/7 kind of a thing but I still don’t think it has fully soaked in.

A few of you might be wondering what was going on way back then. Well I decided to eat rice for a month to understand what it was like to go to bed hungry, only have rice to eat and watch other people with so much just waste it. It wasn’t until October 1^st came that I realized I was truly insane, one of the most insane people around at the time. A month is a long time, I didn’t actually know how long it was until I went to bed hungry, feeling so very sick because my body was telling me to eat more but I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed. It was rough to say the least but it was amazing to come to the end of the month and say I did it.

Note to self – think through insane projects and do more research before just diving in.

That was the month that I learned I cannot go without coffee. I love my morning coffee and the smell of coffee brewing in the morning – what a wonderful thing. There were many things I learned but that might have been hardest to get through due to the fact I was still going to high school full time and living life as I normally would but with way less energy to do so. I am naturally a happy and bubbly person but once you take my coffee away I just don’t wake up the same and then my whole day is just not right. I hate having a not right kind of day, those the worst and I had a whole month of them.

As bad as it was, I did enjoy it and I came out still loving rice. So it wasn’t all bad all the time. But it is something I wouldn’t think about doing again anytime soon. There once was a thought in my mind that I would do it every October but I destroyed that idea pretty quick after it came up. If you want to know more about my month of rice you can still check out my rice blog – http://makingwhiterice.blogspot.com/ 

Love,

a.m

Tuesdays

Most people can’t stand Mondays; they think they are the worst day of the week. I understand where they are coming from with that but I am just not sure about that theory anymore. As I have grown up and had different activities on different days I would often change which day of the week I liked more than others. I have now done that again based on my schedule here at the Hill.

 

Mondays aren’t as a bad a Tuesdays but Thursdays are a hundred times worse than Tuesdays. Saturdays are better than Mondays and Sundays are the best day of the whole week with Friday right behind them. The only day that I don’t really have an opinion on is Wednesdays – they aren’t awesome but they aren’t bad. So just like how they are in the middle of the week, they are now also in the middle of my scale of liking.

On Tuesdays we have an extra duty to do because it is room check day. If my morning wasn’t busy enough it now has gotten a little bit busier which means I’m probably a little bit more grumpy in the morning too. I don’t enjoy mornings it’s just that simple. However, Thursday we have to work all afternoon and that is not fun at all. Now Mondays just suck because they are the first day back after the weekend, no super great reason for not enjoying it. Sundays are the best because we go to church and Wal-Mart and do other fun things that day. Fridays we still have five hours of class so that’s not awesome cause your just waiting for the weekend to start. Wednesdays don’t really have anything exciting happening, its just kind of the day you know will always be there and nothing great or not great will happen.

Anyways, that’s kind of how I feel about my weeks.

Love,

a.m

Lightning Fast

So this past week went by so incredibly fast, it’s not even funny how quick it went by. I honestly thought yesterday was last Thursday earlier. It’s a little mind blowing how quick things are going now, there is hardly any time to just stop and think about what you did that day. All my days have become like one big long day with some naps between them all. It’s insane.

 

Over the weekend I didn’t really do anything at all. We had plans but nothing really worked out so some of just hang out at the Hill and thought of all the wonderful things we could be doing but aren’t. I didn’t mind it at all, every once in a while you need one of those chill weekends where you can just relax and let your body completely rest. It was wonderful, it’d be more wonderful if I could really really remember it but I can’t. There is a chance that I went into Comfort Sunday night or maybe it was Saturday and we got some snacks and just had a bit of a girl’s night the room. There was really the only exciting thing from my weekend.

Now onto Monday, we got all new speakers this week since Kelly and Charlie were both away for the week – they went to teacher at other Torchbearer schools. We still had two staff teachers – Jon, teaching on Joshua and Bob, teaching on 1^st Samuel. It is a little weird to be doing those two books at the same time but due to teachers schedule that’s just the way it is. They both have very different teaching styles as well. Jon was a high school bible teacher for two years and is a young guy with the cutest daughter in Texas. His classes are very structured. Then there is Bob, where it is much more just wild and fun. He knows his bible, it seems like he had every verse memorized. However, he doesn’t, either he’ll know the reference or he knows what the verse is about. Sometimes we’ll have to go and actually find the verse for him or we just move on from that point. I would have to say he is probably one of my favorite teachers we’ve had because it is fun. Though I’d have to say I learn the most from the guest speakers than anyone else here.

Our guest speaker this week was from Africa. As of this past year his family and he have been living in one of the Hills guest houses while he is going to school again. So he was a guest speaker but he’s not a guest in our lives since he is around the Hill and also church. He talked on Galatians, a book that I had read and loved before and now have just fallen more in love with it. For most our guest speakers I have been taking around 6 – 10 pages of notes, however, this week was very different at the end of every session with him my hand would be killing me. Today at end of his last class I counted my pages of notes and it came to a hefty total of 20 pages of notes all on Galatians. I hardly doodled or zoned out at all, sometimes I just have an off class where I can’t sit still and just need a break but every time he started talking I couldn’t help it but listen. Which is totally a good thing but just not normal for me. Either I am changing and growing up to where I can sit still for a fair while or else he was just an awesome teacher or even maybe both!

On both Monday and Tuesday afternoons we have off so Josie, Noelle and I laid on floor in our room for like the whole time. We didn’t want to move so we didn’t. It was so nice to just hang out and not have to respect other people while they are working on something since the three of us weren’t really doing anything at all. We may be read one chapter in the text book, but that seems like it was almost too much work for us.

Wednesday was the same old as it always is – breakfast, classes, lunch, outreach, supper, classes. It is the same every week, right now it is still kind of fun but I know at some point I am going to get real bored of that. Every week the same thing happens over and over again with no change or anything new really. Thursday’s are kind of like that too – breakfast, classes, lunch, workday, supper, classes. The only thing different from Wednesday is the afternoon activity – outreach to workday. I would much rather have two days of outreach than one day of work day. Not that I don’t like cleaning but the things we are cleaning I just don’t feel like cleaning normally. By Thursday I was so exhausted that having to do real hard work just doesn’t fit on the list of things I want to do. That list only has room for one thing and that is sleep. However, there is no way out of workday and this week my job got changed from cleaning the dining hall to cleaning all the public washrooms – there are 6 of them. I thought that there were only 4 of them but man oh man was I wrong. It really wasn’t that bad but I just really wasn’t into it however I was thankful for my practice from being a housekeeper at Arlington.

Then comes Friday, my favorite day of the week by far. It went by so fast, feels like only this morning I was hitting snooze three times on my alarm clock but honestly that was many hours ago and so much has happened since then. Since classes end early we have more of an afternoon evening to do things on. Which means Josie, Noelle, Courtney, Alyssa and I walked into Comfort for some antique shopping and pizza. We weren’t sure how long it’d take us to walk so we left around 4 and ended up in town by 4:30. We made pretty good time we thought since most people said it takes like 45 minutes and we for sure aren’t fast walkers at all. There are so many cute shops there but there was only one shop we wanted to go to and spend all our time in. The Antique Mall – where it sells hundreds of Antique. It’s crazy in there, feels like it goes on forever and there is stuff everywhere. It was very much fun and wow that pizza place was so very cute.

Love,
a.m

Harley

On Tuesday and Thursday of our week in Louisiana we went out to ‘The Projects’ area and did some tutoring and a VBS like thing with the kids in that community. It wasn’t actually called The Projects but that is how the Youth Pastor referred to it so that is the name I know for it. It’s the rough area of town, like the hood or the Bronx. There are a whole bunch of two story brick apartment buildings; they all look the same down every street. I’m sure that if I would have went walking around the area move I would have gotten lost cause every street looks the same and has a grass area is the same place. When that area was first built I’m sure it was very nice looking and was a fun place to live. But now it wouldn’t be, there are couches in front of some homes and on the streets, and it’s just not as nice looking, with beat up cars and broken things all over.

However, with all that said, the kids were so precious. They all wanted to play with you and hear you talk; each one of them could pull the Canadian out of the crowd. Apparently we have a very different accent! Kids were coming from everywhere, they just keep showing up for the VBS. I was pretty sure on Tuesday that every kid had shown up but then on Thursday there was even more kids there than before. It was amazing! The parents were all laying out blankets on the edge of the grass area to watch what we were doing and they also had a blast out there watching us all play with kids and run around and around and around. It was overall a very good time spent in The Projects.
There was a little girl standing off to the side with two boys that seemed in their early twenties when we started the singing together. I walked over to them and asked if she could come and sing with us in the middle of the field. She looked up at me and then over to them, not saying a word to either of us. One of the boys, that looked more like her than the other, knotted his head in approval. She grabbed my hand and started walking still not saying anything to me. As we walked away, the boys stood up and one said “hey, don’t forget I’m over here and watching you.” I just smiled and replied with ‘Okay, your just doing your duty. And don’t forget I can see you too.” Then we kept on walking into the group. Looking back on it now, I might have wanted to just say ‘okay’ but no of course not I let my mouth get the best of me and had to reply with something more. The boys just let out a bit of a chuckle and sat back down. Once we were with the group I asked the girl what her name was. It was Harley, and she was seven years old and so cute. Once we joined the group she became like most little girls – full of life. On both days, she and I played together - running around, giggles and playing hand clapping games. It was so much fun and always sad to say bye at the end of the time. The kids would chase the bus as we left The Projects.

Also, looking back on this I realized that I didn’t feel threatened by them, I should have I think. I felt strangely comfort in The Projects. You could tell some of the students were way outside their comfort zone being there, I felt bad for them because they had a harder time playing with the kids and getting involved in everything we were doing. Being there was way more fun for me than being at the church actually working, don’t get me wrong I know the stuff at the church was just as important but it just wasn’t fun all the time. Being with kids and seeing their huge smiles as we played and even just sat with them was way way better than anything we did the rest of the week.

love,

a.m

Louisiana Loneliness

I have never before been to Louisiana (as far as I know) but now I have and well it’s a different kind of place, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it there however on the flip side I didn’t hate it either. It was what I would call an adventure. I think it is fair to say that I am becoming one of those people that loves going on adventures, but I don’t like adventures that bring around 60 people and don’t really have a plan. If you haven’t already guessed, that it was my week was like. An adventure with no plan for what 60 students were meant to be doing for a week away from their new home.

Maybe I am being a bit too harsh. There was a plan but we finished most of it in the first day of work so then there was a group of girls who didn’t have anything to do but sit around and wait for something to be thrown their way. I was in that group of girls. One the first day everyone had something to do until about 2:30 – 3 o’clock and that’s when we realized we shouldn’t have worked so hard on the first day. However, they never told us that we were going to fast or that we wouldn’t have anything to do the other days. The leaders of our group and the church didn’t realize that 34 girls could work so fast and get the job well done. It was kind of mind blowing for them all and us.

There were a few jobs like repainting a wall – took three days, designing and pouring the cement for a sidewalk – took five days, redoing the foundation of the youth building – took five days, and making cement parking stoppers – also took five days that kept people busy for a while. But only so many people could be doing those jobs at once, we only had so many tools and there was only so much room at each work area. Which meant that there was a large job of girls who on the first day were clearing bush around the church yard (which is huge and I was one of them) that had nothing to do once done that. It was meant to take us a little longer than five hours. Never underestimate the Hill Girls!

The leaders then got together and began to brainstorm things for us to do. While they were doing that most of us found things to do since sitting and waiting wasn’t really what we wanted to do. Some girls ran water out to the workers while others cleaned the bathrooms, windows, floors, toys and class room walls and then there was the photography group taking pictures of everything happening. I personality went and joined the painting crew and then was on that for the rest of the week.

Thanks Mum for always repainting everything in our house and cabin and making me become a pro painter.

The boys had to sleep in the youth building on the floor for the week and eat all their meals at the church and be at the church all day long. The girls on the other hand did not have to be at the church the whole time. We were placed in people’s homes from the church. Jordyn, Sarah and I were placed in a very interesting home. It was a split house – as in the mother, Monique, was a Christian and the father, Brandon, was not. From the moment I stepped into the house, I just knew that’s how it was. Monique didn’t actually tell us that until maybe Thursday night when we were driving home from the church and it wasn’t like Brandon wore a signing saying that but it was just how each of them acted that made it so obvious. They were a lovely family, just different than we would have first expected. The first night was pretty awkward because we didn’t know what to do and didn’t feel very comfortable there yet. As the week went on things got better at the house, and we started to hang out with the family more and really become part of their family for the week. When everyone was hanging out at the church we would all refer to our host families as our family and talk as if we had lived with them forever.  Saying things like “Mom made pancakes with blueberries for breakfast” or “Dad took us out for ice cream after supper”. It was easier than saying the person’s name and then having no one know who you were talking about since we only really met our host family and not other peoples.

It was weird not being the same building as all the girls. Back at the Hill all but seven girls live in the same dorm, Emmanuel, so we normally see everybody a lot and now we don’t. I only saw Jordyn and Sarah until 9 o’clock when the meeting started at the church every morning. I didn’t enjoy that, I missed seeing my left side down stairs girls (that the side I live on). Jordyn is one of those seven girls so it was nice to still have her. But it was lonely not having my four roommates, it might have just been a month yesterday that we got here however, when these are the only people you see most of the time you become very close to them very fast. Since you can’t really do anything else unless you want to be alone, even that would be hard to do though.

Love,

a.m

7 Hoodies & A Parka

It has mainly been HOT HOT HOT down here in Comfort. I don’t mind wearing shorts and tank tops. It means that you’ll get a super cute tan in no time at all and well would be against that. But then there are those days where we go from one building with AC to the next building and normally going under as many trees as possible to stay out of sight from the sunshine. We also try our best to stay off of the grass because it is not very nice to walk in. Walking around without any foot wear on is not a very good idea but it is one of my favorite things in the world to do. When I don’t wear shoes I have to stay on the road/sidewalk but it gets so hot in the sunlight. Then my feet are burning so I end up looking crazy as I walked trying to keep my feet off the ground but still stay with my friends. 

Then in Louisiana it was also HOT HOT HOT. It was fun since we were working outside most of the time but then it was like oh man, we might get skin cancer here. It didn’t always feel as hot as it actually was and then there were days when it felt way hotter than it actually was. There was also more humidity there than in Comfort so it just made it always feel hotter. There was one day in Louisiana where it was so hot out and everyone was just sweating like pigs. I was outside for about five minutes when Alexis turns to me and says I look like I might be burning. We had hardly started to paint again so I got sunscreen and pasted it on. I hate the feeling of sunscreen but I did not want to burn so I did what I had to do. Then about 45 minutes later, Tyler comes with more sunscreen and sprays me down with his sunscreen. I was covered in sunscreen. I felt nasty. However, it was totally worth it. Now I have a very nice tan!

However, we came home to cold weather. It’s not really that cold but it is a shock to all of our systems. When we go from 3 weeks of super HOT HOT HOT weather to chilly fall weather over night, your body just starts to freak out. I have been chilly since we got home Saturday night, wearing as many layers as I possibly can without looking completely insane. Saturday night some of us had a campfire down by the river and I was so cold that I put on wool socks, slippers, long sleeve shirt, blue hoodie, and my fall jacket with a pair of jeans and my new Mexican blanket. I was pretty sure I could have put on more clothing to keep warm but I didn’t really have anything left. All my clothing is for HOT HOT HOT weather not this chilly weather. It was actually only +10 (I thought it was +15 but I was wrongL), while back home in Regina it was-5. Man oh man, three weeks can really change a person.

Title : One of the girls was said it looked like Courtney had on 7 hoodies & a parka because of all the layers she had on.

Leaving

So tomorrow morning we leave for a mission’s trip. We’ll be gone from Saturday to Saturday. Which means I will not be posting between those days and maybe not until the middle of the week I’m back just because things will be so busy with school and catching up on sleep. Just so that y’all know!
Anyways, we are going to be doing actually work during the days like with dirt. So some digging and things like that and then in the evenings we will be doing things like VBS ish stuff. It’s not really clear what we are doing because well nobody really knows. Everything is just kind of go with the flow, I am totally okay with that but not everybody is. So it shall be interesting. It’s a 10 hour bus trip if nothing goes wrong, but it is most likely something will so it’ll probably be longer than that plus we are going to have to stop for food and bathroom breaks. I am very excited to see more of the United States of America and stuff.
Mariah and I got some matching shirts for work days. I’ll post some pictures when I am back of the trip and stuff from campus. But we are so excited for our shirts – one of them says Team Awesome! Which we are!! I need to start packing and do some laundry. They first told us that we wouldn’t need to bring our own bedding but then tonight at supper they were like just jokes you need your own bedding now so i have to figure out how to pack that in plus enough clothing. I will not be wearing something two days in a row because it is so hot that I would smell so incredible bad that it wouldn’t even be funny. So I need kind of lot of clothing. Plus it is said that it is going to rain the whole time so we will be playing in the mud most of the time.
Anyways, that just a bunch of random info about my coming up week! I know it just all seems really random but thats just kind of how my brain works. So now you have seen into a little piece of my brain! Hooray :) Please be praying that everything goes well for us.

Love,

a.m

Breaking The Rules & Hearts

Life just doesn’t seem fair sometimes. Not that this reflects anything to do with His Hill, since most things here are pretty fair or at least fair enough for me not to care. Anyways, we are brought up by our parents being told that everything needs to be fair and that we all need to share everything that we have. That’s what I think is dumb. Teaching kids to play fair when in reality things aren’t fair and they just keep getting less fair as time goes on, the older we get the less fair things are. But what can we do about that, scream and yell at each other. I don’t think so, that has never worked for anything before. We do learn that lesson as a child.

 

There aren’t as many lessons as a child that can be brought up with you into adulthood. Things just don’t work like that anymore. Times have changed and people aren’t playing nice anymore, if they even did in the beginning. The people – our parents that control us as children no longer have control on us. They are just people now, yet we still go to them for help because they are older and meant to be wiser than us. In most cases they are but then there are those few who are just not. What lessons did their children learn from them? How could anyone learn anything of value from them? And who do those grown up children go to now for help and guidance?

I sometimes feel like I am breaking the rules even though there aren’t really any rules anymore. I am an adult; I am on my own - in a way. My parents will always be my parents and I am beyond thankful for them don’t get me wrong or anything. I love my parents and all the other people that have helped raise me because I know it was a tough job. But I don’t have them now, I am in Texas, much too far away to go running to them every time something happens or when I just don’t know what to think about something. I have to come up with the answers on my own and figure out how to live life as best as I can.

Being an adult is a much harder job than I would have ever thought. Things just always seemed so simple for them, they went to work and then came home and if you are my mum there was some shopping over lunch or for my dad a nap. I know though that there are harder jobs than others, like my dad’s job being an electrician – climbing into people’s roofs and wiring things and what not. But it still all seemed so simply to me as a child. However, I have now learned my lesson. Being an adult is much harder than it looks like. Things aren’t all laid out for you, you have to make the decision and then live with it afterward.

I am pretty good at making decisions but not living with it afterward. I know what I want but I don’t always know the best way of getting it and most of the time I go the wrong way to get it. I am not as smart as my parents are, at least not yet. They’ve got many years on me for learning things about life and how to live it. All I am doing now is breaking the rules and hearts trying to learn how adults make it all look so simple.

love,
a.m

Early Morning & Late Nights

My whole life, I would go to bed late and wake up early. It’s just who I am, it’s how I was made. But here it is much harder to do that, since I share a room with four other girls and I am on the top bunk. My bed makes a lot of noise when I move around, so I always feel bad going up and down it. I only go up if I am sure that I am going to be going to bed soon after, that way it’s less of a hassle for me and then I don’t make too much noise. However, when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep and need to get up and do something, it makes it much harder. If I was in a room with only one other person I wouldn’t mind as much. But when there are four and sometimes five other people in my room, I just feel like I am not respecting their sleeping pattern. When I am honestly trying my best to do what I can to help myself sleep. I went to bed like super early one night thinking that maybe I would sleep until my normal time but nope that didn’t happen. If I go to bed early I am waking up way earlier and if I go to bed late I wake up at 6:30 am like I have my whole life. There is just no way around it.

 

That is what happened last night, I went to bed way after the rest of my room and when I came in I still had to get ready for bed and everything in the dark – which wasn’t so bad. But I felt bad that I had to open my closet, go into drawers and climb up to my bed – the whole time making what I thought was a fair bit of noise. Before I went into my room I thought about sleeping on the couch in the lounge but half of the couch was gone because another girl was sleeping over and was it to sleep on in another room. So, I came to the conclusion I was going to have to go into my room, there was no way around it.

I don’t mind sharing a room, I actually love having roommates. There are some really fun parts of about it – like the other night we stayed up just talking about our lives, funny things that happened that day and mainly anything that came to mind. It was a blast and we really bonded as a room as we giggled. However, as many good times come with sharing a room there will be hard times sharing a room too.

Love,

a.m

Missing You

Today I meant to be doing homework, since I do have a lot of it. But my mind to completely somewhere else. I am trying to write a paper about the book of Malachi and putting God first in everything, however, I can`t keep my mind on the task – the task of writing about Gods word. My mind is lost, in sadness, pain and then joyfulness too. I am all over the map today and for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why. I didn’t understand where I went when I stopped typing or while I was staring at my page of notes but not able to understand what I wrote down. Then it hit me like running into a glass door, it was as if i opened part of my mind that i had closed because it hurt – a year ago today I lost a very good friend, a classmate, a sister in Christ. I lost, along with the rest of my class, Acacia Tisher.

 

About a month ago was her birthday, and that was a hard day to get through too but nothing compared to how I feel today, the day she went to live in heaven with our Heavenly Father. It is a beautiful day in one way but then in the other it breaks my heart that she is not here. She was not here to graduate with us, to go to Japan and do everything else she dreamed of doing. That was Acacia, she was a dream, and she had big plans for her life. She knew what she wanted way before most of us had ever put any thought into it. Such a beautiful, Godly young woman, taken what I think was before her time. However, only God truly knows when it is time for someone to go home to him and when they are meant to stay here and continue living out their life for him.

I will never truly understand what God was thinking when He took her home. But I know it has made me and a whole lot of other people stronger because of it. We learned how to live through the hard times, how to take everything we are going through to God because He knows. He knows way before we ever see it coming. I didn’t see this coming at all. She was so tough I thought she`d make it through and come back to us at school. It was there in the back of my mind that maybe she might not make it but I never once believed that thought, I only wanted to see her smile again when she came down the hallway to say hello.

Hello Acacia.

Love,

a.m

Here I Am

I now finally have time to go over my last week and a half. It’s time to reflect on everything that has happened and probably laugh again at the super funny things that happened as I made new friends.

So, my everyday duty here is to take attendance at every meal, I have learned people’s names way quicker than I normally would because I controlled whether or not they were late. If you are late for a meal or class you get one point, once you have gotten 12 points you’re in trouble but most people don’t even get to 4 points by the end of the year. I have had to give a few lates but not too many and those people knew that they were late. It sometimes is hard to tell whether or not they are late just because if they were washing their hands or if they sat down during the prayer so then I didn’t see, nobody has gotten really mad about what I have put down. Since most people know when they are late and when they are not, some people have even come up to me and told me they were going to wash their hands so they might come in after the prayer so then I knew that they were there and not late. I always just giggle after people do that, they are so worried that they are going to end up getting a point but I guess so would I if I wasn’t the one doing the attendance. I can’t be late for any meal because then I have to mark myself down and well that would just be awkward.

The food here is way too good. Like honesty I am always going for seconds at meals. It’s so crazy and the bread is homemade most of the time so it’s like fresh and so tasty. Even when it’s just like the simplest of meals I am always like ‘wow! This is amazing!’ the cook just kind of thinks I am crazy for always being so excited about eating but hey if you were here you’d understand what I am talking about. I always knew that I loved food but I had no idea that I could love food even more than I did beforehand. However, I still want my mumma’s home cooking; there is just something about it.

I’ve got three classes in the morning and then two in the evening after supper. Which would make you think that I have afternoons off however, it is far from it some days. Monday and Tuesday afternoons I have off to do homework and just hang out. Then on Wednesday it is outreach day, so we all signed up for an outreach we thought we’d enjoy. I am going to Fabra Elementary School and doing mentoring there with 11 other students (that’s including our driver, Levi, who also is mentoring a student and works for His Hill). We haven’t met the kids yet, we will this coming Wednesday. I am so excited, they are either from families in poverty, or they are having a hard time in school and just need that one friend that they can talk to and do homework with or whatever they want. It sounds like so much fun! There will also be times when we’ll do things as a whole group like for Halloween – craving pumpkins, Christmas – decorating cupcakes and times like that.

Just as a side note – this past Wednesday on our way back to the school I asked Levi if we could stop for ice cream in Comfort before going to the school, since we had time. Jordyn and I even offered to pay for his ice cream since he was driving. We thought it was a brilliant idea. But then he tells me that he’s allergic to ice cream within three feet. I don’t really know him yet so I was like I want to believe that but I am having a hard time with that, since I had never heard of anyone being allergic to ice cream. However, by the time we got back to the school I totally believed him and mainly the whole van had gotten into telling me that he was. When I was about to get out of the van back on campus, he turned around and was like, I am not allergic to ice cream. I laughed so hard, I couldn’t believe how gullible I was. I also couldn’t believe that he had lied to me so I told him that I would never believe him again. This is going to be hard since I will see him at least once a week for the whole afternoon.

On Thursday afternoons we work - real work. The girls are cleaning things like the dorms, dining hall, chapel, motel and other random building on campus and the kid’s camp ground too. While the guys are doing hard labor kind of things – moving rock, digging holes and what not. We start around 1:45 and aren’t done until 5 o’clock – just in time to clean up for supper. It is a long day, at least this past Wednesday was. My group of five girls was in the dining hall, we cleaned everything. Scrubbing things that I was like ‘really, we clean this’. I found it a little over the top, but if they want me to get down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor then hey I will. About every month we’ll be changing up the jobs so in a few weeks I’ll be moved into a new group cleaning a new place. It won’t be that bad, some of the jobs are way easier than others are.

Then there are Fridays, a completely different day of the week from the rest. On Friday’s we have discipleship groups in the morning – they put us in groups of 3 or 4 and we are meant to talk about this book that they gave us to read but we can also talk about whatever else the group wants to talk about. I really enjoyed yesterday’s session. My group leader is named Chris and she had us over along with her husband, Bob’s group of boys over for breakfast. It was so nice to just get off campus for a little while. We all had breakfast together then we went into our groups and chatted. My group has the oldest student who is Swiss – Martina, a second year from Costa Rica – Ardri, a fellow Canadian from Ontario – Rachel and then me. It was such a nice time to spend with those girls, I hadn’t really gotten to know them very much but by the end of this semester we’ll all be like sisters. At least that’s what we prayed. After that at 11:30 we have one session in the chapel with one of our three professors – Kelly, Charlie or the guest speaker – Satsih. Today’s session felt like forever since I was excited about lunch again through the whole thing. After lunch is over, we have two more session with the other two professors. We are done around 3-ish, I think. Then we are free for the weekend.

 

That is mainly my whole week, I don’t think I really left anything out other than what we do in the evenings after class but that’s just kind of a grab people and do it kind of a thing. So who knows what we’ll end up doing next week in the evening or if I will even end up going. I did this week just cause we were all trying to get to know each other and bond. But now we are all pretty bonded and have our main group of friends and everything. Over all I am very thankful I am here, it’s all working out for the best I’d say.

Love,

a.m

Some Things Dont Change

I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to change. I am who I am and that’s that. Nothing I can do about it now. However, I am also pretty sure that there a few things I can change about myself. Like how I am out going when I am sure I can’t fail at anything, which isn’t awesome. The guy who made the light bulb failed like so many times before he actually figured it all out. So then why can’t I get myself to think like that, why can’t I think be okay with failing a few times?
All of this was brought to mind last night when we went over to a teachers house to just hang out and learn how to ‘country dance’ since a bunch of us are going to the rodeo on Saturday night. A whole bunch of people were trying to learn how to dance – some people were really good while others weren’t so much. But everyone was having fun, even the people on the side, which I was one of them. But on my walk back to my room, I realized that I could have been having more fun dancing in the middle, well at least trying to learn how to dance like that. However, I was afraid of failing and being like super bad at it and having everyone know. Instead of having people know whether I am bad or good at ‘country dancing’, I have people who know that I don’t step outside of my comfort zone; I don’t want to look silly. Which isn’t totally true. I am completely out of my comfort zone in some areas since I am here and then I do tend to look silly most of the time.
All this doesn’t mean I am going to go dance on Saturday and it doesn’t mean I am going to stop being silly or anything. It just means that there are some things that I wish would change about me. However, for those to change means I have to change and make it partly a mental thing and I am not sure if I am ready for that right yet.
love,
a.m.

Indian Tradition

This week’s guest speaker is from India. He runs the Torchbearers there, so it is amazing that he has the time to come to Texas and teach all of us. There is so much I would love to say about him but since it is all about his life, I won’t. All I will say is that he has been through so much and that it is amazing he is still alive today. He has the type of life people write books about, just the craziest and scariest things happening but through it all God was protecting him, even before he began to believe. That is the kind of testimony that changes live and it sure has in the past few days as we’ve listen to him talk and tell us stories about his life that go along with what he wants to teach us about the bible and God.
So, he has been going over Malachi with us. Which I thought was a little strange at first since it is the last book of the Old Testament and we are also in class with Kelly going over Genesis. We are learning in the same week about the first book and the last book. I don’t think I had even read Malachi before this, so when he said that’s what he’s teaching on, I thought it’d be pretty important for me to read it right away. Which I did and now am very thankful for since I know what he talking about and which verse he is referring too at times.
The main theme of all of his talks (by the end of the week he’ll have talked to us in class 10 times) are about how if God isn’t the first thing in your life all other relationships fail. We have to remember that God comes first because without him we are nothing, and we’d have nothing. I wouldn’t be down here in Texas if it wasn’t for God. I had other plans for my life, which weren’t what God was planning and he made it pretty clear that I was not following his instruction for my life by cancelling my England plans. But now I see that this was the best place for me to be, I have so much to learn about myself still before I can just jump into the world and say here I am. I also had a lot to learn about God, like yeah I’ve read my bible and went to a Christian school for six years. However, those cannot even compare to what I’ve learned this past week. I’d probably be fair to say that I have learned more this past week than I did any of my bible classes. Not that I had bad teachers or anything, I love them all and have learned things from them but this is all about God all the time. Here everyone has put God first so when he started talking about it I was like well isn’t that why we are here is because we are putting God first. However, as time went on I began to realize that we might be here because of God but there are still things here that can get put in front of God, like doing our homework, being with friends can both take away from our personal time with God.

Love,
a.m.

More Info

It’s now time to fill you all in on my life, since I haven’t had time yet really to get all the details out there. I am in a room with four other girls from all over the world – one German, Sarah, one African, Marie Ann, one American, Noelle and then another Canadian, Josie. I am on a top bunk which isn’t as bad as I thought it might be. I have a closet and three large drawers for my clothing and other random stuff and then I share a desk with Sarah. Our room doesn’t have a bathroom as part of it so we have to go down the hallway to the shared bathroom; there are eight girls who share it. There is more than enough room for all of us in there; I don’t think all eight of us have even been in there all at the same time yet. But I am sure it will happen at some point. Saturday and Sundays are pretty free for us to do whatever we want, since it is the first Saturday we had a trip to Wal-Mart. Almost everybody came on the trip since most of us aren’t from around here. I didn’t want to spend too much money but I knew there was a few things I had to get and I only ended up spending 58 dollars. I have to go back next weekend again though because the photo area what behind on printing and wasn’t able to get my photos printed so they discounted them for me and I told them I would be back next weekend on the Wal-Mart trip to pick them up. So I have to go another week without any pictures of well anything up. But once I get them, my part of the room will look so pretty!!

Yesterday we got our first homework and it’s not due until Friday so I have a bit of time to do it. All it is right now is reading and then writing about what you read so like a summary I guess. Not too bad for the first while. Our reading is starting in Genesis and then going through the Old Testament from there. We’ve only had like maybe two classes and already there has been so much learning and so many like wow moments. This year is going to be filled with lots of those moments I am pretty sure, which is just super exciting! They have mainly everything on lock down like internet hours, no watching movies on computers and lights out time. It’s not that bad and it’s pretty easy to follow the rules but I am sure there will be times when it’ll get a little annoying.

Love,

a.m.

Day One ish

Here I am in Texas now. This is pretty crazy still; it has its moments where it doesn’t feel real yet. The transition into life here hasn’t been that bad, everyone is so friendly because otherwise they’d be complete loners and that would not be fun at all. It’s only the second day and I’ve already learned so much. I can’t believe I am actually in Texas, it’s always been my favorite state but I never thought I would actually get to live here for a whole year and be a part of this ministry. I am so excited to see what God has planned for this year, there is so much going on all the time and always people to hang with. It probably isn’t a better place to live actually, we’ll see if I say that by the end of the year, I might hate it by the end. You just never know really.

My flights were good, might actually be the smoothest flights I have ever had. I still have a strange love for airports, which just might never die. You always meet the craziest of peoples there and see some cra cra things. Anyways, cant say too much now cause computer is going to die.

Love,

a.m.

Number One

All morning I had been thinking, it’s okay, I can still back out. It had sort of become my theme for the summer, backing out of things and running away from real life. I apparently wasn’t ready for life after high school, people can tell you about how its way more fun and how things will be hard but you never really understand until you are there, until you are done high school and entering the real world unable to turn back and say not yet. That’s where I am now, I can’t turn back, I can’t say I am not ready yet because I am as ready as I would ever be, so I have to take that last step and enter the real world of hard times and having to push through whatever is thrown my way. I know there will be hard times coming for me and I know there will be times when I will want to turn around and run for my parent’s home. But I know that I can’t, I have waited my whole life to be on my own and now I am so I have to take it as it comes because that’s what I asked for.
During the summer I didn’t work because I was afraid, I had worked in the summer time before. There was nothing to be afraid of but I was and that was the simple fact, however it didn’t seem so simple then. Looking back over everything that happened I don’t regret anything that happened or the choices I made. I made them for me, I was only looking out for number one and maybe that’s wrong. But who else is going to look out for me the way I do. No one, there  is only me who knows  how I am feeling and what I truly want for me so it is only fair that I am always looking out for number one. Now, in the real world I am truly the only one looking out for me, the only one that is going to take care of myself, I don’t have parents who will run to my side the second I need them now. They are having their own lives and making their own friends now that they actually have time to have lives. So, it is only fair I give them that now and not call on them every time I am thinking that I am dying which does happen to be a lot. So the lesson I have to learn is how to be on my own, how to not need people so much and try to do things myself – to look out for number one.