Day By Day

I see things that make me think about how I have grown up in the past 19 years and in the past year or two.

My heart breaks to know how many hurting, hungry and lost people there are in the world.

I talk to people who tell me that I sound more and more like my mum.

My life changes, as growing up is hard.

I realize how the world has changed in the last decade and can’t help but think about how it will change even more in the next ten years.

My love for seeing the world grows as I sit at home.

I watch as my families schedule gets busier and busier, yet we all are able to get up in time to go for breakfast together before work.

My body shivers wishing winter would not come.

I think more about how Derek Jeter and I probably won’t be getting married.

My bank account grows and my want for new things also grows.

I try to remember to smile all the time.

My friends send me snap chats to bring a little spark of joy.

I become more friendly and outgoing.

My hands become more careful with my nice, still unbroken iPhone.

I dream bigger.

My coworkers learn more about my wild personality.

I take leaps and bounds to get to where I want to go.

My want to help people grows.

I say my name on the phone at work and have people tell me they don’t know who I am.

My need to go to school becomes more evident.

love,

a.m

Youth Group

If someone were to go back to the youth group leaders that met me when I was in high school, they probably wouldn't have seen this coming. I didn't see this coming. But the Lord did, He knew that I was getting prepared to be a youth group leader this year. I have been to a few different youth groups, tried many out and never really found one that I stuck with. However, that isn't all bad, now that I can look back on those times and apply the things I liked to the small group of high school girls I will be leading.
Last week was the first youth group of the season. I think there was about 23ish kids out, ten of them being high school girls. My girls. Each one with a different personality, some very quiet, I am not sure they said anything unless I was like 'hello over there' and other girls I just ignored because they never shut their months. With all of that though, we ended up having a great time, some good laughs, a few serious moments and ended with a bang adding each other on snap chat.
As I look back on my youth days, I can see that most of the time I was the girl that just wouldn't shut up - once I was comfortable somewhere. Before that I was the girl who you couldn't get to say anything at all. So, I would say that there are a few girls I need to take some special attention too and others I should probably ask to calm down a little so everyone has a least a little chance to say something.
Now looking forward to the rest of the year with these girls I see some great times coming, some hard times, tears, laughter and days with tears and laughter all together. It will be a struggle for me not to want to just jump back to the days of high school and also a joy to watch as these girls grow in Christ.

Last Road-trip of the Summer

I love road trips. Probably one off top five favourite things in the whole world. However, driving five and a half hours by myself isn't as fun as it might sound to some people. Being alone in a car for more than an hour and a half is normally all I can take and have ever done. Until now. 

Friday after work I got into the car and started on my way to Brandon. That isn't an overly pretty drive at all, when you live in the prairies everything mainly looks the same. Four hours after work I got to my aunts house where I was going to spent the night. Such a beautiful house with a huge yard, I will for sure stop there again if need be. Saturday morning they were hoping to be out of the house by 8 o'clock and be on the way to Arlington but I don't think that happened since I left at 8 and not everyone else was up just yet. 

Brandon is a little out of the way for going to Winnipeg so from there I had another two and a half hour drive to get to my friend, Steph's house.  I made it in good time and was finally reunited with a good friend of mine that I made when going to school in Texas. After seeing each other everyday for about five months and then all of a sudden not seeing her for three, isn't that much fun. We all grow so close together and at the time don't think about how the year is going to end at some point and then most of us won't live close to each other at all. It's a bit of culture shock to all of a sudden not be living in a dorm with thirty other girls. 

Out plans for the weekend are pretty go with the flow, what happens happens and what doesn't then doesn't. We are planning to much but mainly just seeing what we feel like doing at any given time. 

Yesterday, we went to her cousins wedding in the afternoon and then just before meeting up with the boys for supper we hit the mall for some window shopping. I had never been to a Famous Dave's BBQ before so that's where we went for supper and then walked around Osbourne Village, they all say the weird part of the city. But that's where there are cute little dessert places and coffee shops so I loved it down there. After awhile of walking we decided it was time to go over to the Bridge Drive In for some milkshakes. My boss is from Winnipeg and has been telling me all summer that I have to go there cause its better than the Milky Way in Regina. I am not sure about that considering I haven't tried everything on the menu at both places. However, he will be excited that I made it there finally. 

It was a pretty great first day in Winnipeg and I am sure there will only be more fun to come today and Monday until I have to make the long drive back to Regina.  

Love, 

a.m

Storm Trooper

Most people would think of Star Wars and of course I do as well. But I also think of my great Grandma Williamson. She is 99 years old and has just passed away. Anyone who lives to 99 has been through a few storms for sure.

Great Grandpa passed away about 7 years ago in Washington State and since then Grandma has moved to Colorado to be closer to some family. For us up here in Canada it is only about a 13 hour drive down I'd say. 

I can't remember meeting anyone else who lived into their late nineties and was still as sharp as my Grandma. Give her a minute and she knew that I was her great granddaughter whom she hadn't seen in many years when my family took a holiday down to see her a few summers back. She still went to Bible study and on outings offered by the home. 

She was offered the last ticket to the circus so of course she took it even through she was kinda of blind and hard on hearing. When she got back her roommate was a little upset that she didn't get to go to the circus. Grandma told her that she was older and didn't have as long to live so she got to go to these things. Well, her roommate passed away before Grandma did and never made it to circus. 

Rest in peace great Grandma.

love,

a.m 

SunDay FunDay

As we come to the end of summer I am trying to make the very most of everyday because I know once fall comes I have a long wait until the warm weather returns. Today is one of those summers days that could just go on forever because it is so great. Most summer days are great but there are some that beat out the rest.
I rate my days by how many amazing things happen each day. It pretty easy to have one amazing thing happen but how many people have three amazing things happen each day. I know I do, at least I try to make sure there are at least three. Sometimes it's just not my day and I feel like nothing amazing happened which means on another day I really have to make up for it.
Today five amazing things have happened and the day isn't even over yet! It's just one of those days that is going so well that even if something not so awesome happened, it wouldn't bring me down one bit.
I love summer!
a.m

A Daughter

Canada Day

For the long weekend I went out to our family cabin at Arlington Beach Camp. There were tons of people out and many of them I probably could have visited with and had a grand ol' time with. But I did not do that. On Saturday other than talking to my dad who was also at the cabin, I only talked to one person, Carol, she was working in the Tuck-N-Put and I went mid afternoon to get myself an ice cap. So then what on earth could I have been doing all day, one might think to themselves. Well, I was doing something completely not natural to Annie Archer. I was reading. Weird, right?!

Well, a few days ago I picked up a book, The Glass Castle, and begin to read it as I waited for my mum to finish work so that we could go shopping. I had only picked it up a few times when at home, so on Saturday when I grabbed it again I was only on page like 50. I still had a very long way to get to the end and still wasn't sure if I would make it or if I would just stop like I normally did when attempting to become someone who likes reading. I finished the book by early afternoon. I just couldn't put it down, Jeannette's life was completely the opposite of the kind I have had. In one way it was exciting and in another way I found myself thanking the Lord for giving the life I have. I found myself laughing at the adventures her family went on and then crying for how she had to grow up so fast.

I had always kind of seen my family as being poor, we most definitely weren't well to do, but comparing Jeanette's life to mine I am for sure not poor either. Her father played dirty treats on people for money and then normally spent it on booze, while her mom didn't want to do anything but paint (and from what I read she wasn't overly good at it). Her and her two sisters and be brother were mainly having to fend for themselves, wear the same thing over again and be parents to their parents. They lived in a car a lot, went from town to town causing trouble and never knew when or where their next meal would come from. Now when I thought I were poor, I realize we went. At one time we had seven vehicles, a nice house in a more expensive neighbourhood, always had food (I didn't always like the food, but it was always there), had a cabin, a camping trailer and I went to a private school. That doesn't scream poor at all. Yes we looked like a used car lot for a while since most of our vehicles were brought off Kijiji, our cabin is about 100 years old and looks the part, we didn't have the money to buy brand me things but we still have money to buy things.

So, from that book, first came the realization that if Jeannette can come from mainly being a nobody, the lowest of the low class, to a journalist in New York City, I can come from being a small somebody, with many people supporting me, to anything I want as well. The second thing, was that I have never been poor, and all the times I thought is was, I was very wrong and need to be way way more thankful for everything I do have since compared to Jeannette being allowed to take one thing every time they move I have a ton of stuff.

The next book I read was on the iPad, one mum had been telling me all about and how she felt so inspired from what this lady did. Since I hadn't brought out any other books with me and had to wait until Mum came out on Sunday, I thought I would at least start reading it and see what she was going on about.

Well, let me tell you, after only eating rice for a month in grade 12 to see what it would be like to not have another choice for food,  Jen Hatmaker's book, 7 : an experimental mutiny against excess, about the seven areas of her life she was going to change/work on, one each month, really hit me in her first chapter. It was about food of course and then I was sucked into her book and had to know what happened in the rest of her months. The seven things she wanted to work on were food, clothing, possessions, media, waste, spending and finally, stress. Honestly, all of those thing I am pretty sure, if i wanted to admit it I struggle with. I love food way too much, I have enough clothing to not have to re-wear anything for about a month and still I say I cant find anything to wear, I own things I haven't touched in years and probably don't even know I have, I like reality TV and my magazines, I don't recycle - everything goes in black bag and to the dump, I like to think I am good with money but I do tend to save save save and then spend spend spend and finally, I stress about like everything.

In the second month of her project while she is dealing with clothing and how for the month of February she only has seven items to wear, she says something that I think all the time but then have that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that will never happen. Here is what she says: "I hope one day clothes and appearance and everyone else assessment doesn't occur to me.  I would like to be so focused on the valuable that what I'm wearing doesn't even warrant mental space. Not the fussy, concerned, indulged obsession with clothes; not the conspicuous, public, distracting reduction where I am now...but the zero balance of priority is where I hope to land." There isn't much more for me to say about that, since she says it pretty well. Almost like she and I were thinking the same thing.

I finished reading about Jen's experience on Sunday morning so that afternoon I was able to begin the book which my mum brought out to the cabin for me. Even though there were more books on the iPad for me to read, it's just not the same holding the book, thumbing through the pages and actually being able to turn the pages. I do truly think it is working this time, I am becoming an avid reader.

The third book I read over the weekend was called Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom. I have read a lot of books by Mitch and have loved them all. They all have made me think and strength my faith for sure. Anything by him I would tell others to read, for one its always a good story, if that's what your wanting and then they've got some great themes too.

I'm not sure what I'm going to be taking away from this one. There are lots of great things, like the importance of spending times with our elders and hearing their stories and hearing their wisdom on life. I know that there are of people's could be taking the time to talk to hear their stories and getting their life wisdom.

Love,
a.m

Because You Asked...

There are really no other words that need to be said once you look at that picture of those two girls and then look at my best friend and me together. We are those two girls. We got to see part of the world together and grow in God together and grow in our selves together and learn what it takes to have a healthy friendship.

 

Without you I would have been uncontrollable on the first drive to The Hill, I would have been lost on so many adventures we went on and I wouldn’t have had someone to take care of and take to the doctor. I wouldn’t have had someone always caring about what I was thinking or feeling, I wouldn’t have had someone to sleep over with all the time and I wouldn’t have become a better speller. There are many ways that you have changed my life for the better and many ways you have opened my eyes to always living life to the fullest and never missing a minute of anything. 

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

(For Good from musical Wicked)

You asked me to blog again because even though it was really for when I was in Texas you didn’t get to start reading it until the very end and now you want to continue. I don’t know why cause it really isn’t that exciting, mainly just my thoughts. But this one is for you Jo cause every brunette needs her blonde best friend and I know I got one in you.

Love You Jordyn.
a.m

 

 

Home

Well folks, I am kind of out of words to say at this point. I am home though, home to where my parents live and around of my family. Home to where I have grown up around and the things that remind me of my child hood. As much as I love my home, there are lot of things I love about the Hill. I love how about 30 girls live in one building so you are never alone because there are people everywhere.

 

I love how everything was centered on God – five hours of class a day, prayer before and after meals and being with a bunch of people who want to grow in Christ.

 

I love the hill country area the school was in and watching the sun set hide behind the hills. 

I love my bff’s and how it kind of started off as a joke but totally didn’t end that way.

I could go on as I could go on about any place that I have lived and all the great things about those places.  I don’t think I could hide the fact that I miss being in Texas.

Today is the first day being home, that I have actually had time to sit on the couch and be home. Since I have gotten here it has been Go Go Go. Which on one had has been great and got be back into Canadian living pretty quick but on the other hand I am still pretty exhausted and ready for some down time in the next two days.

Love,

a.m

11 Days

There are only 11 days left for me and Texas to be together. It is amazing to me that I have made it through a year down here and that it is time to move on to the next adventure/chapter of my life. As this last week of normal classes started we all looked around for a moment and just took it all in. Looking around, trying to remember each detail of everything we see so that we never forget. However, the harsh reality will hit at some point – within five to ten years from now we won’t remember a lot of this. One girl has been counting her steps from building to building so that she will always know how long it takes to walk from place to place. It’s a nice thought but honestly, in ten years will she truly care how many steps it took to get from the dorm to the dining hall. I am not counting my steps as I go around the school grounds but normally talking with someone, thinking about what the last teacher just talked about or replaying a memory from this year over again in my head.

Last week there were many people worried about me, I was pretty checked out and just not here. On Wednesday morning between hour one of class and hour two I found out that a very dear friend, Naomi, had passed away. I had no words to tell anyone of what had happened, why I was crying uncontrollably or what they could do. My friends hugged me and I fell into their arms and felt the Hill behind as my mine went back in time. By Wednesday night I was emotional checked out, and had been crying most of the day. Thursday night there was a horrible storm - we were on tornado watch and the ground would shake with thunder. After little sleep the night before and then the storm keeping me up that night I was physical drained on Friday. And mentally I just wasn’t there – I was reliving something Naomi and I had done, replaying memories of her over again in my head. On Saturday I watched her memorial service online and after listening to what her family had to stay about her and how she lived her life to the fullest I realized she wouldn’t have wanted me to fall apart forever over her passing.

I just looked at myself and how I was the few days before and realized how silly this all was. I still have two weeks here and I am living like I am not here because someone that I love is gone to heaven a place I have learned more about this year and long to go to. I am allowed to be sad about her passing and even shed a tear or two. But even more so I should be joyful of her passing and look upon her life as an example of how I should be living my life to the fullest each day. I just have to close my eyes to see Naomi again and I will hold close to the fact that one day I will see her again. I just have to close my eyes and go back in time to the classes I’ve taken here and the crazy things I’ve done here too. I am allowed to be sad about leaving but not to the point where life as I know it stops because life doesn’t stop, you just stop living it. Texas and I will always be together in my heart even if I am not actually still down here and Naomi, she will always be in heart.

Love,

a.m.

Another Count Down

It might look like from the outside that our life here at the Hill is full of only count downs for something else great to happen. Well on one hand it kind of is but on the other there are so many grand adventures we go on every day that we just can’t really count down for cause we don’t normally know until after it’s over how much fun we truly had. I have learned that most of the time the adventures that I don’t feel like going on are the ones that are the most fun. However, I don’t always remember that and miss out on some great fun says some. There is no way to know what each day will hold until it’s over and you’re looking back on it – normally being amazed of what happened.

That’s really like life overall though because truly who knows where their life is leading until they look back and see everything they have come through. I sure don’t know where my life is leading. One day I am ready to pack my bags and move to some small island somewhere in the middle of an ocean, and then next day I am sure I am meant to go to Colorado and do the second year program for Torchbearers and some mornings I get up and just want to be in University all ready. For being a person that tends to have a plan for the next five years I am pretty lost at the moment. Though I do have a plan I just don’t know if it will play out the way I want it to since I have so many other ideas and thoughts of fun things to do. I can plan all I want but it might never come to pass as I want or have it planned out to be. Most things don’t happen the way I plan them so why would I be surprised about my life not turning out the way I want it too.

Love,

a.m

ps - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE COOLEST BROTHER EVER!!

 

Nine Months

Nothing has gone by faster than the past nine months have. At the end of each week I would look at my roomies and ask them what I did all week. They are normally able to list everything since I am with them a lot of the time. People tend to say that life just speeds up the older you get but I can’t imagine it going by any faster than it already is and I’m only 19 years old. I can look back upon the last nine months and remember so many great things – so many memories from inside the door, in class, playing boarding games, counting down the minutes until work day is over and trying to make the most of my time while at outreach each week. Plus so many more.

While talking to other His Hill students that have come back to visit I can understand why they all say this was the best year ever. First reason is always because it’s in Texas and everything is better and bigger in Texas. Then because we get five hours of Bible teaching five days week from some pretty interesting people. Also since we are meeting people from all over the world that all want to be your friend and are excited to be able to be this journey with you. The reasons could truly go on forever about why this year is so awesome. But mainly for me just because it’s something new.  A change, a new adventure.

Love,

a.m

Sebastian

My room got another pet a while ago. However, with this one there is absolutely no up keep. He dances, he sleeps at the end of mine and Noelle’s beds and he works really nicely as a backrest. What is this pet you might ask yourself. Well, let me fill you in our the happenings of Left Side Down #3 –

A few weeks ago when it was my work day duty to clean the boys dorms, I saw Sebastian in one of the rooms but he was much too high for me to reach him so I just pondered the idea for the rest of the week of how I might be able to get him down without having to move anything or ask for help the next week. The next Thursday he was no longer there. I had a moment of silent as my dream has just disappeared and then got back to work of cleaning. A little while later in a different room I found my new friend and he was in arms reach. I talked to Adri my cleaning buddy for a moment about what was about to happen. As was going to have to run across half of campus with him and well he isn’t the smallest of animals. She agreed to cover for me any one asked where I went and then I was off and running - across the field, past the fish house, the swings and through the parking lot into the girls dorm.

As I pasted the fish house, one of the boys saw me and began to shout out to me about how I was stealing his pet since it was firstly in his room before everyone decided they wanted to have him too. But now he is in the girl’s dorm very unlikely he will be leaving any time before the end of the year since the boys are rarely in here. We have to invite them in and that doesn’t happen very often.

Still wondering what our new pet is, well the time has come. He’s a tiger. Sebastian, the tiger. The boys have a different name for him but I can never remember it so we had to change it to something else. He is much easier to take of than any of our fish were, but not always as much fun since he isn’t actually a real animal.

Love,

a.m

Last Weekend Memories

Way back at the beginning of the semester a bunch of us brought tickets to go to a Spurs game. Then a little while later all us girls decided to start planning the boy’s appreciation night and all of this fell on Easter weekend. By far the busiest weekend all year. With all that some of our teachers put a lot of homework due for this past week and this coming week. Free time is something not very common around here lately.

Even though it has been super busy for most of us, it has also been the funniest weekend this semester by far. We went from one activity to the next one and most of the time running around trying to make the boys wonder what they will be doing.

On Friday night most of the student body got onto the Cool Bus and we went into San Antonio to the AT&T Center for a Spurs vs. Clippers game. It was such a blast! I have never really been into basketball but some of my really good friends here are in love with it so I have learned lots this year about it and also learned I am not going to ever play because I am not good at all. But that’s beside the point, the game was so crazy, back and forth and down to the last second it could have went either way.  In the last five minutes I made a bet with one of the boys who was cheering for the Clippers that the Spurs would win. At that point they were winning and in the end they did win. However, that was the longest five minutes of my life. All of a sudden the Clippers were winning and then the Spurs and then back to the Clippers. In like the last second of the game the Spurs got ahead and won! This means I will not be buying myself ice cream on the next ice cream run!

On Saturday most girls were going crazy making sure everything was perfect for the boy’s day. We first sent them on a little walk to find a staff member who would have more information about the first activity for them. In one of the more treed area of the grounds we had them play sling shot paint ball for like two hours. None of us girls got to go down and watch but the boys said they had a lot of fun and that was way better than anything they had imagined. For supper we went over to this ranch that was totally the way anyone would picture a small Texan ranch. It was by far one of the cutest places I have ever visited. We all ate supper together there and then played games outside, played pool in the house game room and just sat around talking together. We thought the sun would set sooner than it did because we were going to leave the boys there so that they could watch a movie outside at the ranch. However, it took a lot longer to set that day, which wasn’t bad just set up back on our time line. They were still able to watch the whole movie and get more time to hang out with us girls. Overall, I think it went over very well and the boys really enjoyed it.

On Sunday, we all had to be up, nice looking and at the chapel for sunrise service at eight am sharp. Plus, my new daily duty is cleaning one of the public bathrooms so I had to clean that before the service started because people not from the Hill were coming. One of the earliest morning yet for me. The second year students put on the service and did a wonderful job. Then everyone went over to the Fish House for breakfast together at nine. So much food and so many people I had never seen before.  I ate breakfast, took a few pictures and then went back to bed.

Most of Sunday I sleep since there wasn’t much of it the days before hand. It was a wonderful weekend! Just much busier than any of us would have thought or wanted to plan.

Love,

a.m

First Week Back

Here we are at the beginning of the last ten weeks of school at the Hill. These are the weeks we are meant to be enjoying life even more and going crazy even more and just making the very most of the time we have together as a school. As a room without really talking about it we all decided we were going to work out in these last ten weeks. Some run, have a workout have Jillian Michael’s and then three of us are all doing Insanity. If you don’t know what it is, that’s probably for the best because it is one of the most painful things ever. I don’t think I have ever sweated more in my whole life. Noelle tells me every time I tell her my caffs hurt that it is a good feeling. However, I think she is way wrong.

On Monday the two girls from my room that went home for break came back to the Hill. Noelle arriving first – middle of the afternoon as most of the girls are laying out on the back deck of the dorm enjoying the sunshine. We see the schools white van turn onto the road that leads up to the hill. With a scream and pointing finger from Heidi we all jump up and begin to run to the van’s parking place. What we didn’t think about it how hot the ground was going to be when running without shoes on. It was so hot. Both Heidi and I realized after hugging Noelle and standing and talking for a moment that we were burning the bottoms of our feet. Turning around and running back to the dorm where we soaked out feet in cold water we found out what happened to our feet. She had two blisters on the bottom and I had seven (three on one foot and four on the other). It was horribly hard to walk around the rest of the day and then the next day as well. So after talking to a few people here I came to the conclusion I needed to pop them all. Tuesday night sitting up on the bathroom counter again I stabbed a pin into my foot four times (three of the blisters weren’t hurting me so I am letting them heal on their own for now). I don’t like gross things like blood, blisters, cuts or anything along those lines on other people but on myself I am pretty fine with it. Since the next night I had to do it again to the biggest blister cause it just won’t go away.

It is so very nice to be back at the Hill with all my rooms again. Two of the girls I roomed with last semester as well so a day without seeing those two is a very sad day. Everyone here is my friend, then there are some I am closer too and then there are my roommates who are like my sisters. They wake me up in the morning, reminded me of my daily duty at lunch, tell me when something really doesn’t look good together and can tell how I am feeling better than anyone else. Without these four I would totally be lost in Texas. Last semester it was a bit harder to find time to have roommate dates or snack times and things but this semester it happens like four or five times a week just because we are always in our room hanging out. Not saying last semester we didn’t enjoy our room or that we weren’t friends but things are just different. I will surely miss these girls a lot after May 24.

love,

a.m

So Its Been A While

Hey There,

I realized throughout my whole life that I am not the type of person to keep in touch with others. I am just not good at it and tend to have the mindset if you wanna keep me then you gotta work at it. But then I thought one day - I can’t be the only person in the whole world that has thought that way. So, what I am thinking that way about one person and also thinking it'd be nice to keep them around in my life but don’t do anything and then they are thinking the same way I am. Neither of us will do anything to keep in touch with each other but we both want to. How silly is that!

And on that note I deleted Facebook. Which would firstly mean there are a whole lot of people who think I have just went a floated off into space because I didn’t say I was getting rid of it, I just did. I was there one day and gone the next, without letting anyone.

If I want to keep in touch with people shouldn’t I want to keep Facebook - one of the biggest social media websites with over 1.01 billion people using it. That would be the best way to keep in touch with people and most likely be the easiest way for me to keep in touch with people and I deleted it. What was I thinking? Was I thinking?

Well here it is - I don’t keep in touch with Facebook, I post about my life to see how many likes I can get. What is the point of that? I don’t care what people are doing unless I know they will have an interesting life then I creep them and then I am judging them or being jealous of their life. Why would I want to creep people to see their lives when I am either impressed with their life and wishing it was mine or I am not impressed with their life? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

So, that’s my life lately. Nothing overly exciting just looking at my life and seeing what I don’t want and figuring out what I should be looking to add.

Love,

a.m

Picture Time

Here are some pictures of things that are going on here at the Hill.

 

Every Tuesday night after classes there is open basket ball in the gym for whomever wants to go and play. Or be cheerleaders like Marijke and I are. Each week we make new signs for two of the guys. It was Thad's first and probably only week playing all semester so of course he got a sign!

 

Last Friday was a special day for us students since we got to sleep in and have brunch and then head off to the San Antonio Rodeo! We went into the childrens area to pet some animals.

 
My four roommates and myself all dressed up for a night planned by the guys in honor of us Hill girls.

From left to right - Marijke, Noelle, myself, Marie-Anne and Heidi.

 



The four people I am almost always with.

From left to right - myself, Joel, Jordyn, Dillon and Marijke.

Along with planning an amazing dinner and program to go along while we ate, the boys also turned the barn into a dance hall for us with a photo booth. Overall, they did an amazing job.







That is a very little look into my life. But those are some memories I will hold very close to my heart forever.

love,
a.m

Thoughts

I’ve been at a loss for words for about two weeks now. There was so much going on here that I couldn’t figure out what to say and what was better off left unsaid. And now I have come to the result that saying nothing is almost as bad as saying too much but hitting that line of saying just enough is pretty hard sometimes. There are few times in my life when I have been left with nothing to be said however, that is happening more and more to me as I get older. I am left surprised by what people say, how people act and what is happening in their lives. My last two weeks in a nut shell would be middle school drama – girls getting mad over dumb little things and boys just being dumb and not knowing how to treat a girl with respect. I thought I was in college or at least out of middle but looking back it surely doesn’t look like it with the things that I have been dealing with.

‘What you do is what you think and what you think is what you believe. What do you believe? What do people see you believing?’

Last Monday a teacher said that to our class and since then I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I am thinking about that a lot and trying to figure out if what I do is what I am thinking and if my thinking is what I actually believe. If I go by what the saying says then yes what I do is what I think and then what I believe as well. But then looking back at these two weeks the things that have been happening aren’t what I believe – I don’t like yelling and screaming and do not think that is ever the answer. I don’t like having one of my friends mad at me for whatever reason and I can’t stand fighting of any kind. However, that’s what my weeks have been kind of filled with - I have stood by and been yelled at and been their when someone else is being yelled at and I have yelled. But that’s not what I believe. Anyways, that’s just some of my thoughts that I am working through.

Love,

a.m

Time Flies

I am pretty sure the saying goes the older you get the faster the years go by but I am not that old and this year is flying by. I wake up in the morning asking what I did the day before since all my days are filled with so much learning about God and then in the free time there are so many adventures that I have a hard time keeping my days straight anymore.

I’ve as of now studied 22 books in the Old Testament and 13 books in the New Testament, so that’s 35 of the 66 books in the bible, so I have studied over half of the books.

I’ve made lots of new friends and seen God move in some pretty amazing ways in their lives.

I’ve spent a lot of money and am waiting for the day my card is declined.

I’ve eaten three meals a day and haven’t had to do anything to prepare.

I’ve sat in 5 hours of class a day and been exhausted by all that I am taking in but then am ready to do it all over again the next morning.

I’ve been to Louisiana and eaten Alligator.

I’ve met a few cowboys and each time my heart melts a little more.

I’ve picked up my bible instead of my wallet numerous times and then had to go back to my room.

I’ve dyed my hair three times since December and am happiest now being a dark brunette.

I’ve learned that the Lord is always holding my hand even if I am not always holding His back because I am a child of God and that He would have still died even if I was the only one He was saving.

I’ve made the decision to make this the best year of my life and that wasn’t hard to make happen.

love,

a.m.

TCK

Not as many people know what TCK stands for as I think do. Third Culture Kid. That’s what I am, even though we only lived overseas for three years. For those three years that where I called home – I had good times, bad times, crazy times, extremely hot times followed by a tons of rain and times filled with the joy of knowing that we lived in a safe community with many other believers. To some Malaysia wouldn’t be a safe place or they could never imagine calling it home. But to me, that was where I wanted to be and that was where I was along with my family so that was home.

Which bring up the question of what makes up a home? I know some people would go straight to Pinterest and find their boards filled with things they have in their home or want for their home. While others pull out photos of their home throughout the ages or a picture of each house they lived in. For me home is really just memories. I don’t remember much of the stuff I learned in school, I remember the lunch hours and the times my friends and I cried together or laughed together. My whole memory is filled with times like those from all over the world. Memories from Lumsden which I would rather forget, memories from Malaysia that always make my heart feel warm and full, then there are memories from Regina but for living their three years my memories are from all over – the road trips with the fam, going on work trips with mum and going to youth treats at Colleges over the weekends.

All that brings us to now – Texas. My mind is full of cowboys and cowgirls, the dust clouds everywhere and times of laughing until my stomach is killing me with pain and then not being able to remember what started that laughter. All truly wonderful times. However, that doesn’t answer the question at hand – what makes up a home? Those are all memories from my home. My home is me, where I am is where my home is. Not meaning I am going to be bring everything I own to each place I go – that just wouldn’t work at this point. But it means I need to be happy where I am, of course there will be hard times, there are hard times everywhere, and we can’t run away from those. However, I can find the positive in bad times – gotta start seeing the cup half full not empty.

I have a great life and a great family that have like always supported me in whatever I was jumping into. That’s simply amazing and not everyone’s got that. I have two parents who are still together and don’t have plans of splitting up. I’ve got one older brother who has always been there for me through everything. Then I’ve got seven grandparents who have never disappointed me. Plus a whole bunch of cousins, aunts & uncles and tons of friends all over who care and love for me. How did I end up with all of this? I want to find a place that is my home, that I can go to and be like look this is mine. But imagining people who have lived in the same house their whole life is hard for me (after six years everyone should have to move by law).  So then why would I want to be able to go somewhere and say that this place is mine? That’s not what I want, I don’t want to live somewhere forever, and that just will not do at all. I like to travel and Asia has a very special place in my heart now.

I don’t have a home. That’s it. I don’t have an earthly home that I am longing for; my heart is yearning for my heavenly home. My heart is sad and having a rough week because I am longing for Jesus. I want to be able to physical reach out and know that He is there. This may be something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, wanting to be able to physical see and touch my heavenly creator. However, I know I cannot until I go to heaven and frankly I don’t feel like I am ready to go yet and as far as I know I am not being called home yet either.

2^nd Corinthians 5:1-10

‘For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having out in on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord--- for we walk by faith, not by sight--- we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether are home or absent, to be pleasing to him. For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.’

Love,

a.m

Being Content

Last summer I was not content at all. I didn’t stay with anything very long and was just unsure about everything. As my world fell in on its self after graduation, I realized that growing up was hard. But then I came to the Hill and everything was perfect and I couldn’t have been happier with my life. I was pretty sure that nothing could ever go wrong and that this place was absolutely perfect. However, nothing can stay perfect forever because that would just get boring. Right? Well, I wish it would have stayed that way.

Here I am in a place that I love with people that aren’t half bad and some of them I would even honor calling them best friends. However, real life compared to fairy tales - where everything ends the way the main character wants it to, has come back to me. My fairy tale has ended and I am being hit with the harsh reality that my life isn’t actually a fairy tale. So, if that wasn’t clear - I am not content. I am just plain old unhappy and beginning to have a harder time at hiding it.

I arrived on a Wednesday and was so excited to be back and seeing everyone. Things were great and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Things last semester weren't always easy but I always felt like this is where I should be. However, this feeling of not being content has taken over, I thought it would pass and that it was only because the first weekend had come and I missed home a bit. A whole week has gone by and nothing has changed. I still feel like this isn’t for me.

There have been some pretty good times in this past week and a half that we’ve all been here. But they don’t last, the happy go lucky feeling always leaves and I am left feeling out of place in a way or like I am just a visitor here. I have lots of friends, it’s not like I’m loner but even when I am with them and we are laughing and having a good time, my heart just isn’t there and isn’t into it.

So, now with all that said, all I am doing is praying most of the time. Trying to figure out what in the world is going on inside of me and why I can’t shake it off. I know I like to travel and moving isn’t a problem for me. However, I want to see this year through with these people, I can’t imagine leaving them part way and not finishing together because we started together. And I am not saying that I have already started packing because I haven’t. All I really know is that something is not right.

Please Pray.
a.m

Adventure Time

Wednesdays are normally filled with long classes and fun afternoons at outreach. Probably the best day of the week, however, this Wednesday was a little bit different than most. Jordyn and I were waiting to hear what time we’d be leaving for outreach when Levi said ours had been canceled for the week. Oh no! What were we going to do all afternoon while everyone else was gone? Hmmm…thinking…idea! Its adventure time!

One of the Canadian guys drove down to school in September and was more than willing to let us use his car as long as we didn’t get in any accidents and filled his tank. Easy enough! The one thing left now is to figure out what to do with all our free time. As we drove off of the Hill we figured the best thing to do would be go to Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree for some cheap snacks and goodies.

Life has been so busy since we got here finding time when no one else is around to talk isn’t the easiest. But when you are the only two people in the car and going to be together all afternoon it works out for talking quite well. It was an afternoon spent the best way – chilling with you bestie! We walked around Wal-Mart looking for the best deal and were amazed that everything in the Dollar Tree is actually a dollar.

Overall it was a very good afternoon spent! Probably one of the best days we’ve had here yet.
love,
a.m

Here we are again

The first half week is over. I didn’t think we would jump right into classes but we did. Thursday morning we started and got homework. So long for a chill first weekend back. For me things are mainly the same but they have changed a little. Like my room, I have two of the same room mates and then I have one of the new girls and then a girl from last semester was moved into my room. So it’s different but yet a lot the same. Noelle and I pulled out bunks apart so that neither of us would have a top bunk. Which is awesome and gives our room a whole new feeling; I enjoy being in my room so much more now because I can hang out on my bed without climbing up and down all the time.

One of my favorite guest speakers from last semester is coming this coming week and this time he is bring his wife and two daughters. Last time he talked about creation & evolution and this time he is going to talk about world views. I am so excited to hear him again. However, he is kind of hard to take notes on because he is all over the place but I am alright just listening and taking it in sometimes too.

Last night we had a game night and played a bunch of group games with who ever came to the Fish house. It was a lot of fun. We laughed until we were crying and holding out tummies. It was a good way to start the semester off, bonding with the four new students and being able to catch up with everyone else. We are trying to put together something awesome together for tonight as well. By the time supper rolls around everyone is going to be done with doing homework and ready to have some fun.

Love,

a.m

2012

12 Random Things I learned

1.       Going with the flow is sometimes better than planning everything in your head.

2.       Ketchup chips need to be taken worldwide.

3.       Hard work pays off.

4.       Every day is a new challenge.

5.       Every yoga pose can be modified.

6.       It’s easy to be a sore winner than loser.

7.        Grapes are delicious.

8.        Writing in cursive is slower than typing, faster than writing in print, and more liberating than both.

9.        It is good to talk.

10.    There is always someone to blame.

11.    We can get inspiration from unlikely sources.

12.    Mexican food isn’t my favorite.

12 Things kinda about God I learned

1.       God loves me unconditionally in spite of me. He LOVES me.

2.       Broken hearts heal. And if you let God be the healer and restorer, He’ll put you back together better than before.

3.       Pleasing God is more important that trying to please a person.

4.       I learned to remember what makes me happy: My family, my friends, my dreams, my talents, my gifts, & giving back.

5.       I learned to forgive and forget. Not for others, but for my freedom. Let go, let God and watch your life change.

6.       I realized my obsession with Derek Jeter may have gone too far.

7.       I learned eating Subway, Starbucks, & Tim Horton’s multiple times a week isn’t good for you.

8.       I learned time management.

9.       I learned God will take our mistakes, mess ups, and seemingly bad situations and bring a wonderful outcome that we couldn’t have expected or imagined!

10.   Sometimes when things don’t happen the way you’d hoped they would, they turn out better than you could have imagined.

11.   I learned who I am: A loved, forgiven, redeemed child of God, created for a purpose.  

12.   It’s important to surround yourself with people who are so proud of you they’re confident you’ll win a Nobel Prize one day.